deepundergroundpoetry.com
Naked Hatered
Disgusting
Walking around
Wearing skin
Barely passing as human
Black vile drips
From your lips
As you spit
I love you
An insult
A disgrace
Love has been
Defiled by you
Your sweet nothings
Are like lava
Intense
From a distance
But once someone gets close
You lick them
Giving them burns
Making moving painful
A foul mouth
Like yours
Is not worthy
Of heart filled words
Some colourful
Adjectives for you
Repulsive, disgusting
Repugnant, disrespectful
Unacceptable
The way you treat women
Like they are disposable
If they don’t follow your rules
Your rules make a box
Which you allow anyone to step into
When they are in the box
They are your “one and only true love”
Let me flip to appendix F
Line 237 of your rule book
You never strictly forbid
What she or me did
But if we break your rules
You violate the word of “love”
And you burn it the ground
Because we made a defiant sound
Your name makes my skin crawl
It’s such a sickening word to swallow
It’s bitter and sour on my tongue
And I hate the foul aftertaste
Walking around
Wearing skin
Barely passing as human
Black vile drips
From your lips
As you spit
I love you
An insult
A disgrace
Love has been
Defiled by you
Your sweet nothings
Are like lava
Intense
From a distance
But once someone gets close
You lick them
Giving them burns
Making moving painful
A foul mouth
Like yours
Is not worthy
Of heart filled words
Some colourful
Adjectives for you
Repulsive, disgusting
Repugnant, disrespectful
Unacceptable
The way you treat women
Like they are disposable
If they don’t follow your rules
Your rules make a box
Which you allow anyone to step into
When they are in the box
They are your “one and only true love”
Let me flip to appendix F
Line 237 of your rule book
You never strictly forbid
What she or me did
But if we break your rules
You violate the word of “love”
And you burn it the ground
Because we made a defiant sound
Your name makes my skin crawl
It’s such a sickening word to swallow
It’s bitter and sour on my tongue
And I hate the foul aftertaste
Published 10th May 2019
| Edited 11th Sep 2019
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comments 3
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
10th May 2019 3:03pm
Sounds like a narcissist type of person.
Interesting word " Hatered " a Middle English word and an alternate of " hatrede "
I learned a new form of this theme and for that i thank You
though the subject here is one of extreme anger and sorry You had to experience that type of relationship
You described it here very well
Interesting word " Hatered " a Middle English word and an alternate of " hatrede "
I learned a new form of this theme and for that i thank You
though the subject here is one of extreme anger and sorry You had to experience that type of relationship
You described it here very well
10th May 2019 9:52pm
That is a lot of hatred. Hatered.
There are some great phrases here:
"Walking around/ wearing skin/..." Right off, a great line.
"Love has been/ Defiled by you..." That's how big it is. Not "my love" or "our love," but Love itself. Defiled.
"Your sweet nothings/Are like lava..." Burning in the memory.
There is a lot of anger and pain here, but I enjoyed this poem.
There are some great phrases here:
"Walking around/ wearing skin/..." Right off, a great line.
"Love has been/ Defiled by you..." That's how big it is. Not "my love" or "our love," but Love itself. Defiled.
"Your sweet nothings/Are like lava..." Burning in the memory.
There is a lot of anger and pain here, but I enjoyed this poem.
Now that packs a heavy hit,
pure anger with no filters,
never easy to write.
My only nit would be,
''''''For simply making an out of place sound ''''
IMHO i think you could make this line snappier,
but i enjoyed the read,
and the intensity.
pure anger with no filters,
never easy to write.
My only nit would be,
''''''For simply making an out of place sound ''''
IMHO i think you could make this line snappier,
but i enjoyed the read,
and the intensity.
