Dear Mentor, Kick Me In the Ass

I can’t fall in love, cause I just lose myself,
My self-esteem goes down the drain and I back up against the wall.
For several months after I won’t say anything at all.
And when I get over it, I’m myself again.
And you seem to like me then,
When I don’t care anymore,
Only when I am not bound to you,
But if I don’t keep guard
I will take a leap of faith and then fall flat onto the floor…
So I’ve got to keep a guard around my heart
And all those feelings,
Well they pick up and stop like the wind.
I will be a vessel and just let them pass through
If only so I can keep doing what I have to do.

Because there’s no one who will build your life for you.
Every day you’ve got to stay on pace and continue.
You need a kick to the ass, and I’ll be there to offer one.
Lest your poor little heart falls for someone, and your plans come undone.

I’ve always got to keep myself afloat.
Keep trying, trying, trying
Kick myself hard in the ass to keep from crying
Like a baby and the mentor in my mind
Looks coldly upon what he finds
When he sees my heart running
After someone else, forgetting where my feet wanted to go.
It’s yourself you’ve got take care of before you let your life go.
So keep building, building, building
Ever higher, build your life
Cause in the end that’s what you’ll have.
Don’t chase those pretty moments.
If you’re lucky they’ll pass by,
And they can’t help but catch your eye…
But remember where you’re going.
No, I can’t fall in love.

Oh, when it wraps itself around me, the first few days are bliss.
But inevitable heartbreak comes from misled expectations.
There’s no way to change it so I’ll take it as it is,
But it’s no kind of life to run after brief elations.


April 28, 2010