The i-Dudes

Every morning
thereís a man
sat in a little coffee place
with an open laptop,
cell in hand,
typing useless figures
that just donít matter

a matrix of spreadsheets
soaked up in caffeine.

Heís spitting buzzwords
like ďboard meetingĒ and
ďletís micro-schedule thatĒ
whilst furiously tapping data
into a well-thumbed keyboard,
a graveyard of pretentious
muffins and lunch crumbs.

In terms of evolution
thatís why men are the more
prevalent masturbators

not because theyíre perverted,
but because it prepares them
for using their hands
on more than one device
at a fuckiní time.

Next time I jack off,
Iím thanking Steve Jobs
I can still remember
where I parked my truck.
Written by 24601 (John Brady)
Author's Note
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