Image for the poem UNHoly(pt I of IV) "UNRELIGIOUS"


How often are Christians speaking on the harm in Christianity?    
Most are content just going through the routine motions, sincere or carefree.    
Do you know the perils of Christianity and the living paralysis it has on so many aspects of a person's life?    
I do, on BOTH accords.    
I've lived it, encountered it thoroughly in friends, family, and associates.    
I am not on the outside looking in, I was once in-for decades.    
I continually faced conflict between myself and Christianity.    
I have always been a different thinker than most...I've been the one who'll do what most won't, and say what most don't and in my early life, I did not understand why I thought differently, just knew that I did.    
I had to muzzle things I wanted to say because children should be seen and not heard, of course;  one of the most ridiculous phrases to shut kids up because of they're innate honesty and curiosity.    
Why probe like this? Why not?    
I have lived and have seen the chokehold Christianity has over people's lives and probing reveals truth from myth, and offers different ways of thinking about something revered heavily by its cult of devotional followers...the Bible.    
Yes, I will more than likely say many things that will make some angry, furious even.    
If you have ever had questions you were afraid to ask because of that good ole'      
no-judgement-judgement  your fellow Christians will lay on you, this may seem like a guilty pleasure or just entertainment;    
If this work helps anyone…    
 could be just one-    
mission accomplished    
 yet continues.    
    Who, besides you, has the right to assign your faith or religious beliefs?    
Parents feel they have that right, and exercise it quite often.      
 Parents actually don't have the right to choose their child's religion;    
 what they do have the right to do, is to raise them with respect, morals, values and social guidance.    
  Initial contact with Christianity presented itself in two different vehicles;    
1.)       A pedophile      
2.)       Catholic School    
My 1st Christian = My Virginity DOA    
  On a Saturday night, in the middle room of his shotgun house, he put me on his box spring and double-mattress bed, that was not coincidentally too high to get down from by myself.    
I remember shivering, and being so scared…then, I saw him. I watched as he dipped his 2 forefingers in a huge jar of Vaseline-and took out a heaping portion-that I now know, was his idea of a lubricant necessary to take the virginity of a six year old girl…and he did.    
Sunday morning arrives, and he had the audacity to be fully dressed in a suit, hat and tie to go to church with my grandmother and I.    
In church, I watched him congregate and converse with other members, sing in the choir, and perform Usher/Deacon rituals.    
One thing I will never forget is while singing in the choir, he kept glancing at me, as if to say, I’m untouchable, you’re not.  This was also my first introduction to the ”silent scream”, because on the 3rd row pew I sat, verbally silent- while simultaneously screaming on the inside!    
I couldn’t believe they couldn’t see what he really was, because everything he showed them is a lie.  I just felt as though someone would save me, but that never materialized.    
Years of my young life were weighed by the plague of a dark secret.    
No one was coming to save me-so I tried to save myself…that got struck down in less than a minute, by me.    
He called me to come have some ice cream, which I knew what that meant, and sitting on my grandmother’s porch shook my head and said no, I’m full-no ice cream today:    
My cousins were also in our grandmother’s yard playing on the ground, and as soon as I said that, he called to my youngest cousin of the four there, to come get some ice cream.  She started to get up, and I stopped her, saying no, no ice cream for you, it’s mine. To this day, I have no clue why I did that or thought to do it. I don’t know if that saved her, but, we never spoke about it, hopefully, she was spared.      
One random day at the age of 12, I watched an after school movie entitled:    
“Something About Amelia”-about a girl being molested by her father, who was portrayed by Ted Danson.      
That movie, coupled with the burden of this darkness needing to be lifted off me-made me gather the courage to tell my mother what had happened to me.    
Mr. Molester always told me that she wouldn’t want me anymore…nobody wants used goods.  So, after telling my Christian mother what the Christian pedophile had done finally, I just knew she was about to call the police, call the ‘everybody’ who needs calling in a situation like this—after all, this is the same woman who cursed out a nun, full cuss mode about a spike in tuition surely, she will be on fire.    
Barely a spark-after hearing what she heard from me through tears and fear, she half-hugged me and said a phrase that to this day is seared in my recall: “Let the Lord handle it”…that, was it.  No police called, no emotional connection, no explanation about anything that happened to me—I think she called my grandma to tell her-because I was never allowed to go over there or anywhere with him again--but just to show that she really had no hard feelings towards him-my mom kept getting vegetables from him.      
These, were people who “hallelujah” in church, smile to keep up appearances, so much energy to make yourself seem “good” and do nothing when your child had been so damaged-I couldn’t reconcile this in any way…virginity DOA.    
           -same space in time…but let’s rewind-    
Secular Succotash    
St. Francis Xavier Parochial Catholic School-is where my first 8 years of schooling was spent-in an environment like no other.    
A fair assessment of it’s entire make-up and structure requires separate description, especially when it comes to the teachers, most of which were nuns.    
I was inexpiably never comfortable with Catholicism, and having that baked in as part of the normal procedure of  school, is just wrong.      
Madalyn Murray O'Hair was a vile, nasty woman, but on the subject of keeping prayer and the Bible out of school-she got that right 100%.    
From 6-12 years old, I had no concept of what my own life meant, yet, I’m to learn in full detail-dogma that I didn’t sign up for—it was assigned to me;    
Yea, see my mother the Baptist Christian gambler, who married my Catholic Christian father, the adulterer, promised him in the divorce that she would keep me there until 8th grade graduation.  Interesting how parents feel they can decide the fate of your spirituality and faith from birth, and expect you to just deal with it—why does that sound like a cult? Because it is. Christianity is the most prolific and profoundly corrupt cults in history, with an unapologetic, hypocritical and judgmental cast of characters ever known to humanity-because of course they must “be fruitful and multiply”. Speaking of which, since those were the orders from God, why don’t priests and nuns never marry or bear that fruit? In the Bible, there is a myriad of who begat who, so…what’s up? One word--Money.      
If they were to marry and have children, when they die, the Church would have to have to split anything of value with the spouse and offspring…they are having NONE of that-the church wants ALL of whatever they leave behind to come to the church, nice and easy like—no court needed, it’s a built in rule-for no other reason than profit. That, is the only reason priests and nuns aren’t allowed to marry. It is considered a life of service and charity, which for nuns and many priests, it is;    
and is also a life of sexual deprivation-which is unnatural….that rule still stands.    
In Christianity, things are set in stone and rarely if ever change-which leaves no room for growth.  You are always told to have faith, just believe it because we say so, and this book that has traveled down through the centuries through the hands of many men also tells you so.  Stations of the Cross, the Holy Rosary, weekly church appearances, and a class on Catholicism taught by a hopeful male postulant, were part of regular school sessions…why? We are to learn academia then pause school time to go to the parking lot to stand in a big circle many times in the blazing heat to hold rosary beads and go around the entire necklace: big bead is an “Our Father” smaller beads in between the big Our Father beads are for      
“Hail Mary’s”;    
 It is absolutely necessary for the student body and teachers to go around the circle one at a time saying Our Father’s and Hail Mary’s until the entire rosary had been done—during school hours.      
If that doesn’t float your boat, there’s the seemingly never ending aerobic workout known as the “Stations of the Cross”-done inside of the church.      
This particular ritual gives you the interior layout you didn’t really know was there and weren’t looking for anyway; a secular succotash of epic proportions.    
Priest and altar boys in ritualistic attire, carrying crosses and candles-taking a slow purposeful stroll around the entire church, stopping at painting placeholders along the wall that are to represent certain Saints and their life plight or contribution. The student audience must read, bow, kneel, and perform any necessary hand gestures during each station-and there are 12 stations--another religious ritual thrust upon kids who want lunch and recess or go home altogether.  Parents literally pay tuition to have their kids burdened with something they couldn’t possibly understand.  Many parents like mine, felt that sending your child to Catholic school meant a great education and they’ll teach us everything we need to know about the religion we didn’t pick;    
They feel their work is done--teachers will take care of everything. You could send a space shuttle through the holes in that logic.      
Teachers at that school were at a 98-2 percent split of nun to secular teacher ratio. So, we had a ton of nun in habits as monotonous as our uniforms, then, got to experience the daring vision of 1 or 2 teachers who wore street clothes-who were married and had children usually, amid the ranks of celibate educators—something refreshing and different.      
Corporal punishment was alive and well, hell you would even get a parental permission slip to ALLOW or REJECT corporal punishment being used on your child, for whatever reason deemed necessary.  You get one guess which my mother checked off.  Let’s pause here to plainly call this what it was—legal mutually agreed child abuse.  You hand a stranger the task of disciplining your child with violent, painful strikes with a 3-6 inch thick wooden paddle, at their discretion, for any offense they see fit.      
Just wondering who the hell thought that was a good idea?      
I digress.    
The only beneficial element I embraced was excellence in academic education, and in this arena, the nuns and secular administration were serious, highly focused, and able to give individual attention to those needing help, even if that meant each student gets individual attention.      
Their skill has honestly never been matched when it comes to education.  They taught at levels above the grade we were in, integrated with base grade level material.  That’s something I didn’t realize until I began high school.      
We learned real world applications that wouldn’t be used until we were adults, but, when we were adults, we were flawless and ready to write checks out fully, practiced intensive handwriting and cursive, filled out envelopes with complete sender/receiver information in the correct areas, how to distinguish they’re, their, and there;    
 'I before E except after C, or when sound like A like in neighbor and weigh”-to put it plainly, these nuns were on it!  And, if you dare, bring your calculator into a math class and watch how fast it leaves you.  You had to show your work thoroughly-that’s how they knew you had it-not that a machine helped you have it.  No nuns or secular teacher ever combined any religious aspects in our classrooms-they just didn’t.  All of the ritualistic religious instances and activities were ascribed by the Catholic Diocese-fused in as normal school stuff—when, in all possible worlds, is wrong to mix.      
Say what now?    
For Christians, they are right in their beliefs and everyone else is wrong.  If you don’t call on their Jesus as your Savior, to hell you go or maybe Limbo-also known as judgment,  that’s it.  They refuse to be converted to anything else for the most part, but will actively and feverishly try to convert others-something they wouldn’t allow-also known as hypocrisy.      
 When Christians slaughter in Jesus' name or to convert others to Christianity, it’s a crusade—when the script is flipped, it’s a Holy War.  Christians feel exalted over others, that Biblical law exceeds man’s law or the law of the land-and anyone can find biblical verses to excuse or justify their behavior, in the name of Jesus, God, or the Holy Spirit, whichever has moved them to act.      
For centuries, and even present day-Christians stifle scientific facts, and attempt a rewrite textbooks, their way the white Christian way.    
You must go along with the notion, that Adam and Eve are the beginning of humanity, Eve being created from Adam’s rib-a physiological feat that is sure to draw crowds for people wondering what this whole Life thing is about, but, scientifically incorrect because in the theory of evolution, that has been proven, woman was the first human primate;    
Australopithecus Afarensis, and was African. Christianity is having none of it.      
How can you be educated in history without facts?      
Christianity doesn’t care about scientific truth and is not in the business of correcting  its shortcomings. Again, why does this sound cult-ish? Because it absolutely is:    
Theologians have determined with great certainty that Jesus’ birthday, was in the summer.  Christmas, is celebrated December 25th because some folks felt it should coincide with the winter solstice-- that’s what you’re celebrating, winter solstice and Santa-not Jesus’ birthday; nevertheless, still the same--no change.      
It has also been uncovered that the alleged Virgin Mother Mary, was an orphan who was raised inside of a monastery.      
Considering we have a pretty good idea of what could happen to a young girl in a safe space for men only—one could spin this alleged miracle conception as a covered up rape.  Jesus was said to be a flesh and blood man-yet, not one instance of romance or sex in 30+ years-but he knew that being gay was sinful-- with no experience in either.      
The Christianity tenets of Love thy neighbor as thine self, love and pray for thine enemies-all go out the window when it comes to homosexuality.    
In Christianity teaching, homosexuality is a sin, abomination, and if they lie together as the same sex the should be put to death. There is no wavering in that.  There is no addendum or supplement that gives homosexuality a blessing or green light to proceed.    
There is no such thing as a Gay Christian. Perhaps times change but, it doesn’t.  You can kid yourself into claiming you’re a gay Christian much like racists have convinced themselves that there is a such thing as a Pure Aryan race-still isn’t possible.      
In my late teen to early 20’s, I began to experiment with my sexuality and homosexuality.  Lesbian and gay people would often share the same stamps of disapproval that they had internalized as the fate of their souls; it’s a sin, an abomination, Sodom and Gomorrah, or the infamous Adam/Eve/Steve rhetoric.    
 In the space where I am now burdened with thoughts of sure damnation because of my sexuality or exploration thereof, I must deny what was a strong part of me, because Christianity dictates it.    
Three circular themes allowed me freedom and confidence enough to consider a break up with Christianity :    
1.      I have no problem at all with  gay lesbian, or any of the LGBTQ community, in fact,  I'm a proud unapologetic member of the community:    
Christianity says homosexuality is a sin,  an abomination-I have never agreed with that.    
The abomination comes from alleged men of God sexually abusing and scarring children,  raping nuns,  and the male hierarchy covers it up and shamelessly transfers the priest to another diocese to begin his pedophilia anew among unsuspecting trusting followers-that, is an abomination.      
That should be in the book.      
To forbid the LGBTQ community acknowledgement and acceptance, to me is not from a God of love-but from men of hate.    
Hatred of differences-that's not of God-at least none that I want to admire.    
2) There is absolutely no female hierarchy or advancement;    
Can you name the top 3 female positions within the Catholic Church and the papacy?  No, you can't, because there are None--and by none, I mean zero!    
Still, to this day, there's no substantial role women play in the church's hierarchy.    
3) Forgiveness Factor *sample persona*:    
Male,  48 has raped over 30 children....raped and murdered 8 others;    
  and while in prison,  kills an inmate and a guard.      
So,  as long as you confess,  and are sincere in that confession,  you are now a clean slate, forgiven,  set at the same level as someone who has tried to do the right things in life,  may have helped instead of hurt...sacrifice instead of slaughter - now,  both on equal footing because that's how it works according to the Good news book, and from the mouth of a crucified Jesus to a crucified criminal, you are forgiven and will be with me in Paradise--and I confess what I’ve done to the priest, yet, the priest is free to and encouraged to cover up their shameless actions…    
Yeah, no.    
What sealed the break with Christianity, was a question posed to my college philosophy class by our dynamic female professor;    
Is what you believe, your religion or faith something that you chose or was it a choice made for you-and why does anyone else get to make that decision for you?    
Analysis after I removed myself from its grip, became intense and dramatic, finally asking questions that garnered me responses like:    
“Blasphemy!”, “you need Jesus”, or you’re going to hell, which would no longer pacify me into silence.    
I can take what I know from being within it’s depths and see clearly the worldwide cult that is Christianity, or as I refer to it under the aliases:    
•      the Great Male Hustle    
•      Foul Soother    
•      Women underfoot    
•      White man's Utopia plan; and be free to be “UNRELIGIOUS”.    
The unquestionable question for men: why not believe in and encourage others to believe in something that benefits you in every way, with minimal if any drawbacks?      
Why not celebrate something that teaches male superiority from the onset?    
The Bible and other religious texts are written by men, and in mostly all religious texts, there is a strict code of conduct for women to follow explicitly-children to follow fearfully-men are in charge of everything, and come out usually really large in religion.    
God. Let's start there...    
Why is God automatically assumed as male?    
Can you name the top 3 female positions within the Catholic Church and the papacy?    
No, you can't, because there are None--and by none, I mean zero!    
Still, to this day, there's no substantial role women play in the church's hierarchy.    
The Bible is a male-centered, male-guided, male written and taught text, handed down for centuries, which is long on fantasy--short on history.    
 Will explore that and the moral paralysis the Christian Conscience places on sex and sexuality in Parts II & III of IV of UNHoly.    
Written by SPIRIT (SPIRIT_Sinz)
Published | Edited 15th Jun 2019
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 0 reading list entries 0
comments 0 reads 493
Commenting Preference: 
The author encourages honest critique.

Latest Forum Discussions
Today 7:19pm by Ahavati
Today 7:09pm by dustyJournals
Today 6:46pm by mommabutterfly111_
Today 6:31pm by Blackwolf
Today 6:26pm by mommabutterfly111_
Today 6:16pm by mommabutterfly111_