A Sunset To My Day

I need to get my feelings out
I need to clear my head;
Did not expect this happening,
From such a tiny seed;
But now we’re standing on the ledge
And I cannot think of much else;
What started out so wonderfully,
My mind turned into hell.

It’s gotten to the point where it strikes a bit too deep,
I did not see this deepest pool that lay below my feet.
And least of all did I expect that I would be plunged in;
I thought it had to do with choice: but here I have no will.

How it all fell into place; how natural it feels,
And now I guess I’ve had a taste for something I’d call real.
It wasn’t forced, it wasn’t called upon, nor drawn to me by wish,
I was simply the receiver of an unexpected gift.

Sunset’s come, so brilliant, I watched my sunset rise
And cover with the sightless dark the staircase that I climbed.
The staircase found below leading downward to trap doors
Like a wisp it’s been erased and now its weight exerts no more.
Yesterday’s forgotten in a sunset that explodes    
With its rays across my world,
Mirrors a sunset smile within.
Shines its bloody rays into an unexplored night
With a brilliant of stars that glitter into twilight;
An archway that leads through to something wholly new,
I’m under it, waiting ’til something pushes me through.

I don’t care where I am; I don’t know who I am
I already feel like I have changed and left the world I’m in.
No standards for the placement of anything I find;
Anything can be anything, and everything’s inside.

I don’t care, I don’t care, everything’s fallen away;
I don’t look at any others that chance to pass my way.
Their hooks slip through my lips ’cause I’ve no urge to bite down
I’m only scared that in the pool I fell in I will get consumed and drown.

So I’ve been changed, I feel it now,
I feel a sunset to my long, long day
Somehow something’s taken me, and I don’t feel betrayed
I don’t feel dirty, don’t feel wrong,
It feels as simple as the sun,
As pure as my favorite place,
My bedroom with its misty shades and walls of perfect blue,
Like the flutter of leaves in summer’s late afternoon
On a sunlit tree, with its shadow beneath,
With the clouds overhead and with the river;
As simple as the sunset, as natural as the world.

I’d become content just to wade through the void,
Taking thrill after thrill, knowing it wouldn’t fulfill.
And I thought that in our world there’s nothing more than empty corners,
And a marketplace with cheap arrays that only bores.

I didn’t want this, even now I don’t
I could do without this; it’d be even better that way
If nothing happens, you know, I’ll be fine
I already blew it up way too high
The bubble will burst, like all of them do
When you pretend you have more bubble gum than you chew


1/30/09 :)