Don't Let Her Die

It is beautiful and deeply felt ... whatever else it is I cannot say other than a great write ... Bless and much love Pandy ... .

I'm so very gracious, dearest  FeNyX. ♡

The repetition really snaps us into understanding the emotion turbulence you went through. I'm sorry that you suffered through it, especially at such a young age. I'm glad you were able to enjoy your mother's company for much longer than you expected. May she rest in peace.

With hugs and affection,

~S

Thank you so much, sweet Luna! I'm glad you thought so. The repetition was supposed to be the in form of quatern. I'm hoping I'm somewhere close. I'm so happy to see you, lady! Xo

Thank you, Bender. I'm on the right path, I hope;)

hello, Pan...a quatern, I'm thinkiing...
so far I haven't the courage to try...
I give you brownie points for the attempt...
and you know...
it seems to me you've done a passing good job...
and I can't remember the rules...
one of the more dubious gifts comes of joining the ranks of the chronologically gifted...Ely

Thank you, Ely. I look forward  to the critique in your pm too.♡

Thank you as always for the welcoming comments. I'm glad you liked that line as I did too;)

This is a beautiful poem and you can feel the pain behind the words each time they're used:
"From blue heavens; tears fell, misplaced"
Losing someone is painful & confusing no matter the age, so channeling those feelings into your writing is a beautiful thing x

Thank you ever so much, once again. I'm touched by your praise & appreciate you liking my favorite line.♡

I think it worked very effectively to illustrate such an emotional memory.  Nicely done!  That must have been a very tough thing to go through.  

It was, but prepared me for my life now, I guess. I'm glad it met your approval..thank you

Pandora.. such a heartfelt poem.. repeating certain phrases works here.. the love, and hurt.. brings tears to my eyes.. nicely done.. much love and respect..




Dave

Thank you, ever graciously as always. It means the world, Dave!♡

My poetic friend, this is all the feels kinda beautiful.

Thank you for the kindness, sweet one!♡

Yes!! I want my shit as real as rainbows!

I started to run it past you because of epic awesomeness. Then, I paused, wanting to throw it out there on my own to see. I still very much want your guidance though as I just edited a while ago. It was a somewhat impulsive post. I also know Pandy punctuation is a hot mess. 😂 Critique me, baby.. I trust you!!

Either is fine. I have no shame so if it were done in commentary, it may help others! Bring it on sista....

Ok..this has helped a lot. Plus you showed me how to classy it up a bit. I love that! These instructional things tend to mess with me & I actually thought that other repeated line had to flow as I put it & at the end. I'll be honest.. I was inspired by someone who used that scheme thinking they were pretty pro at it. Sound familiar? Atleast you choose established peeps to draw inspiration!😁

You  also helped me see my punctuation problem with the blue heavens verse. Idk why that fubs me up so much!

Thank you, once again as I envision it clearer now. You know I'm over here embracing my eccentric self BUT that I also want to master true form so bad! It was a goal for this year actually. The style you're using now( sorry, my comments have sucked while being in the hospital) is pretty epic too. I totally look up to you & admire your presence here. They're not as good as your love bunnies are, but x& o's to you!😘

Sonnets are on my to do list too. They have been. I'll take you up on it, just allow me to practice a bit.;) I'll run one past you when I think I'm on the verge of being there most definitely!

Thanks for the recommendation too!

Such a deep emotional piece. I'm sure those scars are deep ones.

Hugs 🤗

Thank you..yes, infinite ones. I think her life prepared me for mine though.;)

The repetition in this lends such power. Truly harrowing write, a great sense of uncertainty, fear and vulnerability. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you, I'm all about purging emotions now & it feels epic. The harrowing part was posting what I was uncertain to be a true poetic form..that's scary!

A parental illness can shape a child's world and view of it.  You've expressed this very well - and I feel it was also cathartic for you. As far as meter, this was a very gracious offering coming from a personal place of emotion. You should feel proud of that.

Thank you, Ahavati. I feel graced to have you here with positive input towards my mere shambles. I can only hope to learn from you & others willing to share the gift with guidance!❤

I can relate to the subject; having had a grandfather die after some time sick when I was 9, and seen now and then newspaper reports of people who suddenly collapsed and died, I had a phase of worrying if one or other of my parents would die on me - then  I did not understand the physical mechanics behind ageing and dying. Although not to the extent I was literally made sick by it. (As it turned out my father, despite his smoking, lived to his threescore and ten, a rare age for men in my family's 20th century history, and my mother is still with us at 86)

It's unbearable to carry those burdens of fear & for me, I carried guilt too; that I possibly did wrong. Big hugs to you in your former plight & thank you for sharing!!🤗

this i read brings back very sad memories that go down so deep as though it seems no end
as i have been there myself.

this is the plan truth watch my mother pass away very slowly of colon cancer stage 4
as mine was stage 3 but i was lucky they caught in time

beautiful    

I'm sorry. It's horrible to watch unfold!

A beautiful poem you’ve left us with - it is very close to a Villanelle format and I believe you could definitely turn it into one...very difficult, but you are very close to already having it...here is an example...

https://m.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/do-not-go-gentle-good-night

Ironically, subject matter is quite similar...it has been suggested that the poem was written for Thomas' dying father...and you need not worry about meter with this form...

Take a bow...heartfelt and touched all nerves...

Xoxo Taryn

Omg, it's you ( as you wonder wtf at this statement. Lol) I was reading back through old posts one night & absorbed every line of your stuff like new breath. I'm glad to see you  back. I know I commented on something of yours a few months back ,but didn't realize your absence or existing gems hidden around here! I believe I mentioned it to Ragnar & he said you had health issues... me too girl so I get ya!

Thank you for the positive feedback & I'm going to work on one! I ended up turning this  into a quatern with sky_dancers help, just haven't posted..it isn't the greatest but it's all about the journey!

I'm honored by your presence & hope to read some " true" erotica added back to these walls one day!! Xx

I am honored by your reply - I don’t even know what to say to let you know just “how” honored I feel right now...

First, let me say I hope one day my erotic will return...I enjoyed it but inspiration is lacking these days, overshadowed by some darkness...the clouds shall pass eventually. We’ll both keep fingers crossed - how’s that? 😉 and I hope your clouds pass(ed) as well...

Second - post the quatrain when you feel it right and then look at its original form and switch it up again to the villanelle or even something else - I’ve done that before - it’s challenging but it can be fun as hell.

Thank you again for your kind words - you’ve caused me to blush and I curtsy before you...

Xoxo Taryn

Oh, do know it was more than the erotic pieces that rocked! Even the emotional stuff was amazing. I still have much more to read, but look forward to anything you could write. Yours had/has a wicked feel to it, not comparible to any other that I've seen here. I wish those clouds pass soon, mine seem to hover constantly. Hugs!!