Limericks 8.0

(i) Stew
Sue was a bear from Peru
Addicted to sniffing the glue
With her drooling and frothing
Made her good for nothing
The  Chef put her right in the stew
 
(ii) Twins
My Identical twin maiden aunties
Couldn’t find any clean panties
They knew it was me
A panty sniffer you see
We had sex after too many brandies
 
(iii) Thing
A Chinese lady called Ling
Had a sell out show in Peking
She’d lay on her back
She exposed her crack
And shot ping-pong balls out her thing
 
(iv) The Request
I gave my Gran a request
A request to which she sad Yes!
I pinged off her bra
I shouted yeahaa
Then she let me play with her breasts
 
(v) Bangkok
A you ladyboy from Bangkok
Sat slowly stroking my cock
I was so mesmerised
And to my surprise  
My cock went as hard as a rock
 
(vi)  The Ritz
A waitress who worked at The Ritz
Was dying to show me her tits
Unimpressed I said So!
Then  I shouted out No!
They were just silicone counterfeits  
 
(vii) Sister
My sister who was skilled in the arts
Ran a business that was just a farce
Of men there were many  
She charged them a penny
To put four fingers right up her arse
 
(viii) Grandma
My grandma made all the boys throb
By vigorously sucking their knob
Her fellatio a knockout
When she took her teeth out
A very professional blowjob