Dead or alive

Ill never be good enough,

I do my best to act like I'm tough.

I try not to let my weakness show,

Inside of me this darkness continues to grow.

I try so hard to fight back the urge,

The things I do takes a lot of courage.

Now I know that no matter how hard I try,

You will never want me dead or alive.



I can tell with every breathe I breathe and Every word I speak,

The hatred towards me grows in your eyes,

Trust me it's no surprise; that you wish I was dead.

Because I hear the same things inside my own head.

You tell everyone I just want attention,

You must have forgot to mention;
That you can't stand the fact that I'm still here!

Do you even know your the cause of every tear?

I can't belive I ever looked at u as my role model,

Thanks to you I emptied out that bottle,
Of pills,
Every time I see you it kills me,

Little by little I'm dying inside if only u could see.
 


When I have to face you i prepare myself as if im going into battle,

Every word you've used has sliced my heart and left it fragile.

One more painful word could end my life,

Oh...that's right,

That's exactly what you want,

My life is like a treasure hunt.

Instead of gold I'm searching for happiness,

A place to feel wanted,

Instead of being haunted; by all these excoriating words,

I'm like a soldier,

Everyday I wonder If I'm going to live through this war,

I just can't do this anymore.


I can't pretend I'm fine,

I can't keep saying its alright.
 
I can't fight back the urge anymore,

One of these days I'm gonna walk out that door.

I'm never going to come back to this place,

I wish you could see that all these tears are stained on my face.
 
Now I know I'm just worthless,

Useless,

Hopeless ,

I can't believe I wasted all that time trying to impress you,

I finally realize that no matter what I do.

No matter how hard I try,

You'll never except me,

DEAD or ALIVE.