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he loves me, he loves me not

i see you in the hallways
i see you in my dreams
i long for you to notice me
my tears fall in streams
your smile lights up the room
it makes my heart burst at the seams
 
you do not feel for me as I do for you
the last time i had a conversation with you
you weren't sober
i enjoyed every word you spoke
but you didn't have a clue
 
your eyes are a subtle brown
i try to catch a glimpse of them
for seeing them brightens my day when i am feeling down
 
i wish that i could talk to you
but i am paralyzed with fear
you have such an affect over the softest of hearts
for my heart races, my breath hitches, and my hands run cold
whenever you come near
 
i always tell myself  
that I will tell you how I feel
i play out the scenario in my head until I feel sick
the glances i try to sneak are swift and quick  
rejection from the one i want most is something of which i cannot deal
 
it troubles me that i cannot talk to you
in my dreams we are happy
our plans do not fall through
but the life that i am living is not that of my dreams
you barely look at me
i have reason to believe that i have been wrongly deemed.

i saw you last night
basking in your glory
to say that i held the excitement of the whole crowd in my head wouldn't be an exaggeration
this is no sob story
the only time you'd pay me any mind would be in my imagination

my feelings have been made clear
i always plan to tell you
but it seems that whenever i do
one of the ghosts from your past always seems to reappear

so here i stand with my heart bent out of shape
there are others who want me
but my heart is not theirs to take
i believe that our love would be nothing but great
but i have reason to believe that i am a few months too late

he loves me, he loves me not
samehdi
Written by samehdi (Samira)
Published
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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