deepundergroundpoetry.com
Story Poem, Nr.11 — A Night With Eve In Paradise
A twinned memory invited me in
but there was more to it than that -
sneaky signs hinted at sin
soon dismissed as fake news
and thrown in the bin of convention
we sighed for a soft tonic of djinn
mistress of cellular strokes
raked away covering leaves
figuring new knowledge
laid flesh to considered intention
faced a place of origin
tongued a slithering snake
broke an imaginary law
as pawing fingers poked for more,
wrestling consciousness
cloud-moon connivance blanketed our moves
offering welcome cover of darkness
’til a shaft of light brought dawn -
grabbed an apple for breakfast
when a nosey and jealous surveillance god
said “On Yer Bike …”
and booting our backsides
slammed the gate shut
appointing two tattooed bouncers …
… so we legged it hand-in-hand
running free for a famed future
sketching immature thoughts
unaware of new life
already nestling in her peaceful womb …
and pulsing … pulsing.
but there was more to it than that -
sneaky signs hinted at sin
soon dismissed as fake news
and thrown in the bin of convention
we sighed for a soft tonic of djinn
mistress of cellular strokes
raked away covering leaves
figuring new knowledge
laid flesh to considered intention
faced a place of origin
tongued a slithering snake
broke an imaginary law
as pawing fingers poked for more,
wrestling consciousness
cloud-moon connivance blanketed our moves
offering welcome cover of darkness
’til a shaft of light brought dawn -
grabbed an apple for breakfast
when a nosey and jealous surveillance god
said “On Yer Bike …”
and booting our backsides
slammed the gate shut
appointing two tattooed bouncers …
… so we legged it hand-in-hand
running free for a famed future
sketching immature thoughts
unaware of new life
already nestling in her peaceful womb …
and pulsing … pulsing.
Published 17th Apr 2019
| Edited 9th Mar 2024
Author's Note
NaPo Day-17 contribution.
(photo credit: nroi-dimor-AEQ-166CWY8-unsplash)
(photo credit: nroi-dimor-AEQ-166CWY8-unsplash)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 9
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
17th Apr 2019 5:27pm
the Powers-that-be are foiled again...
by the misaligned plans of mice and men
jus' despise those Nosey-Parkers...
bunch o' bleeding pervs
jus' can't help interfering
Lordy they get on my nerves... Felicitations and hugs, Ely
by the misaligned plans of mice and men
jus' despise those Nosey-Parkers...
bunch o' bleeding pervs
jus' can't help interfering
Lordy they get on my nerves... Felicitations and hugs, Ely
17th Apr 2019 5:50pm
Thank you again Ely for reading and keeping pace with the NaPo postings. tomorrow is another day, or should I say tonight is another night?
17th Apr 2019 6:17pm
18th Apr 2019 4:18am
Josh I really enjoyed this form. And that ending left such an impression on the imagination.
You're very politically astute; yet, tastefully, and in such a way that it makes the reading enjoyable. So perhaps there is some beauty in all this mess after all.
You're very politically astute; yet, tastefully, and in such a way that it makes the reading enjoyable. So perhaps there is some beauty in all this mess after all.
18th Apr 2019 11:49am
Thank you for your thoughtful commenting, Ahavati.
I'm aware that sometimes the political element in my poetry is too much "in yer face" (which has a role but a limited one) but am also happy to be able to strike a more considered, more mature balance.
In my days as a lecturer in Business & Profesional Ethics to MBA students, I was very aware they were caught up in organisational systems with no easy answers for individual action - "bolt-on ethics" as I called it can do little in situations of systemic injustice - and yet individual action with integrity must be possible in every situation. It is searching for this narrow way of authentic possibility that I am always trying to put my finger on - via my poetry and other creative pursuits. :))
I'm aware that sometimes the political element in my poetry is too much "in yer face" (which has a role but a limited one) but am also happy to be able to strike a more considered, more mature balance.
In my days as a lecturer in Business & Profesional Ethics to MBA students, I was very aware they were caught up in organisational systems with no easy answers for individual action - "bolt-on ethics" as I called it can do little in situations of systemic injustice - and yet individual action with integrity must be possible in every situation. It is searching for this narrow way of authentic possibility that I am always trying to put my finger on - via my poetry and other creative pursuits. :))
18th Apr 2019 9:41pm
I enjoy that overall sensuality, subtle and yet delicate. I love the ending with the expectation of what (or who) she would be carrying after this.
Glad to hear more about those of us who studied business but dabble in poetry as passion/side profession.
Great work Josh.
Glad to hear more about those of us who studied business but dabble in poetry as passion/side profession.
Great work Josh.
19th Apr 2019 1:05pm
Thank you Wallyroo for your support and comment. I rode the wave of ethics programs in the 1990s, instigated after the Thatcher/Reagan years of deregulation and beginnings of corporate excess - shame it didn't work.
19th Apr 2019 11:07pm
Bravo, Josh! This to me is like a Shakespeare play in a modern setting. The well known symbolism of Adam & Eve are so cleverly incorporated.
20th Apr 2019 10:29am
Thank you Gahddess for commenting - first time ever I've been mentioned in the same breath as Shakespeare - won't be able to get my head through the door now :))
