Something within is about to pass away

Something within me is about to die, like I have done multiple times.

Sick of the word I must I point out at this time, writing failing me.

Yet I am sick, this is my writers nostalgic.

My lessons, my thoughts, my soul.

Something within me is about to die, like I have done multiple times.

I cry for what my sons mother has been treated like, not no Saint or queen who needs to be worshiped or seen.

Just me, just me, so why did I deserve no lover by my side.

Why did I deserve to say no to all the people who pass me by, why does my loneliness quiver in this town.

There is something about to die within me, I need to move away.

I dream of being a beautiful model in ooooh la, always dreamt it, guess I can't get the size 16 girl out my head, bullied for being a red head.

Somethig within me is about to die, just like my naive happy spirit he stole from inside.

One fragile lying deceiving kiss, one force cock down my throat.

One teasing lick with no climax with it, a beautiful baby boy born in the storm of it.

What a shame full man, promising me this girl the same land, dressing me in her clothes she left while me wishing for happiness.

You was stealing all along, my life a game to you, my soul not so strong.

9 month I lay alone, waiting for the truth to finally spill, it filled me like the black smoke of London fires.

The screaming filled my ears and my eyes went blind my dear, back into foggy night.

I wish I never did what was right, took my courage and placed it aside, to be laughed at as the fool.

Using my child as a tool, why ever did I give you contact, you play my life like a six string untuned.

Something within me is about to die, I feel my imagination fade in a giving up cry, my mind dreaming of suicide yet bewildered at how can this be a real reality.

No escape from these walls, blocked in by emotional protocalls.

If it was my way, we'd be in a mansion in la, dressed up in pop art clothing, driving around to different places.

Cherishing our life, writing happy poetry, I dreamed so many dreams, I dreamed to save and help so many people yet maybe its me I should save, me and my son.

Leave this place that's got hardly any love, just false promises and empty hugs.

Something within me is about to die, my naive side, trusting side, the side that's got me kicked, torn and bruised.

Watch out life I'm coming for you, dreams will fly, don't call me silly, don't tell me not look at the sky.

Something within me is about to die, the ties that tie me here have faded my dear, into springs ill never see again and autumn's that was never my friend.

You drop your son for this new girl, you play games, he should have a special father in his special world, one with connection, understanding and love.

No saints in this place, yet this torture can't remain, finding out a year of my life before the baby was all lie, finding out the dog you brought back was hers.

Sick to my core, why me, the girl who dreams of princesses and Disney.

You lay on my toystory bedding at 35 years old me 20 while fucking a 16 year old, All behind my back.

We got pregnant on you sharing another woman's body juices with me, how could you have the cheek to come in my life and try to judge me.

Single mum doing it proud, had no one around, not happy ones anyway, just sad for my life, sad for my face.

Yet I'm not sad for my son, or being alone, or having my home.

Its you who all wreck it with the way you live, never appreciating or trusting.

Just a rag doll all my life, why did you do this to me when I shared all them secrets from inside, years of sexual abuse as a child, why me, why Torment me..

Put me down for being silent, one thing you never understood, yes I'm alright I'm good.

Happy blessed life, won't let you see my shiver, won't let you break me, so call me names for having ptsd, call me names when I ask for you to expain, no apologie just a twisting disguise to the new girl.

Hope you both realise one day, I won't stay around for this waste away, I hate my country, its beautiful, taught me alot but the way we're living is not living at all.

How do I remove the walls when squared in by giants, need an angel to save my grace I'm crying inside everyday.

I'm a great mother, do it any day! I love my boy more than anything, it's him who drives me away.

Something within me is about to die and its for my son, so he never whitness or sees what I feel inside.

This version of your mother is not who she is but what they made of her, I'm realising alot baby boy, alot.

I'm taking you away, where you can learn about life in a positive way, I don't want you surrouned by shouting, smokers, alcoholics and being pushed out.

Don't want you growing up in the town I was let down, abused, left, mocked, growing up with the kids who did that lot, is it fuck!

My boy they pull strings, they hate the way my spirit sings, lazy life's just getting by, that's not how our memories shall survive.

Something within me is about to die, my eyes fading into my heart soldering inside.

I am sorry but I'm not all the things you paint of me, I've found my tribe, you think it's all so silly.

Were laughing moving on dreams, so go ahead haters go back to your movie screens.