Metamorphosis

The past three years have been so crazy,
I barely remember them, so hazy,
Except for the most important of details,
I fell for the best human being ever and began to let go of fear's handrails,
Changed from Wicca to full Paganism,
And decided I want to be a part of LGBTQIAP+ activism.
 
I Am in love with the best human in all of existence,
Our meeting was no coincidence, I don't care of our distance,
And because of him, I have let go of so much of my fear,
And have learned so much, including how to better myself, year after year.
 
Especially this year and the previous,
Have been filled with lessons, choices, and topics serious.
I have been learning about myself and the world,
And my relationship to, and my place within this crazy, beautiful, world.
 
What kind of person am I?
What would make me giddy, and what would petrify?
What new things that I've discovered, resonate with me?
And am I somewhat crazy?
 
What do I feel inside?
What is my spectrum of pride?
And what kind of individuals do I like?
Not just gender, but what in a personality do I like?
 
In some cases, I haven't changed much,
But in some ways, I've let go of many a crutch.
For styles, art, and music, I haven't really stopped liking much,
But I have some new favorites and added so much.
 
After research as a pride ally,
Only to find an abundant supply,
Of labels that might fit even me,
And after much trial and error, I think I am almost there, most likely.
 
I have learned important details about my body.
I don't feel confined to a singularity,
But rather a dichotomy,
Two genders, the latter, fluctuates in masculinity.
 
I like both binary genders,
Yet I'm open to other genders,
I want to know someone well before intimacy,
Can be intrigued then repulsed the very next minute by the thought of, sight of, or hearing about intimacy,
And am deep and profound,
A complex paradox, like a mirror within a mirror, I've found.
 
The biggest revelation thus far,
Is something I've seen so little of, how bizarre...
Along with my other labels,
I want to be bigenital, with both genitals.
 
I don't want to change my top half,
Some may call me a mooncalf,
But what I really want,
That I'm saving for, a worthy investment....
 
I want my lower front male,
The middle, still female,
And the rest, still the same,
To be both, is my aim.  
 
I also figured out, I want a few small tattoos,
My ears elfed, is also what I choose,
A septum piercing,
And on the edge of my hairline, a tiny jeweled microdermal piercing.
 
I don't hate most tattoos and some piercings as much as I used to,
Stopped being quite as judgmental as I used to,
And have begun to relax as I should,
The way I always wished I could.
 
I've also learned some harsh lessons,
About letting go of this anger nonsense,
Because of the regret of not being there emotionally,
For my step family.
 
It is the most amazing feeling in the world,
When you figure out who you are in this world.
 
 
 
#BradDourif
#AgeGapRelationship
#AgeGapLongDistanceRelationship
#SymbolicTattoo
#Piercing
#Bigenital
#Stepfamily