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deepundergroundpoetry.com

Idiom Updates for a modern world

Keep your chin up - You�re about to take a punch
Find your feet - unless amputated
A piece of cake - the whole cake
Cool as a cucumber - unless used for naughty purposes
In hot water - My first shower for 6 months
Not my cup of tea - Lime, ginger and sassafras
Eat like a horse - It�s what fake dentures are for
Hard nut to crack - The cranium
A storm is brewing - for people who drink fruit teas
Chasing rainbows - just to get the pot of gold
Go with the flow - and bah like sheeps
Make a mountain out of a molehill - Breast enlargements
Down to earth - The way that most jumpers go
Bury your head in the sand - or alternatively up your ass
Nip something in the bud - Open a bottle of the king of beers
Can�t see the forest for the trees -
Or the burger for the microchips
Beat around the bush - A bit of S & M
Salt of the earth - Pepper from Satan�s ass
Food for thought - I once thought about vegetarianism
Hit the books - well they don�t hit back, do they
Hit the sack - what did the sack ever do to you
Lose you touch - Replace with a grope
Sit tight - sit as loose as you like
Go cold Turkey - Visit Istanbul in winter
Blow off steam - or your parents
Cut to the chase - add to the chase by throwing a knife
On the ball - don�t neglect the balls
Up in the air - along with the rest of the junkies
Born with a silver spoon in your mouth - crack baby
Having sticky fingers - stop masturbating
To ante up - same as to Uncle Down
To go Dutch - to go as a sex worker or a tulip
The Midas touch - The gold diggers next victim
Living hand to mouth - Or whipping hand to ass
Make ends meet - Booty call
Rule of thumb - smash the matriarchy
Spice things up - with a chilly Willie
Comparing apples and oranges - biologically male and female
Butter someone up - Use enough lube
A bad apple - Anything recorded by the Beatles
Have a sweet tooth - type 2 diabetic
Once in a blue moon - telescope pornography

Written by David_Macleod

(14397816)

Published 10th Apr 2019 | Edited 9th May 2019

#PowerOfWords

All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.

likes 2 reading list entries 0

comments 6 reads 367

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Re. Idiom Updates for a modern world - NAPO ALONE 10

MadameLavender

10th Apr 2019 11:48am

I thought the Midas touch was when you touched something and it turned into a car muffler....

Lol�we have Midas brand mufflers here in the US for car parts 😄

Good write�I needed a smile