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Ode to Failure

The light of dawn shall never break
Upon the math test I’ve yet to take.
Failure calls upon the hour
And puts me in a mood quite sour.
For I’ll be plagued by many E’s
And grow up to work at Mickey D’s,
Or better yet on Baltimore Street,
Where some fine gentleman I shall meet;
I’ll have his babies, he’ll have his ladies,
While I drive around in his Mercedes.
Draped in silk, I’ll lounge by the pool,
Make love to the Latino pool-boy, Juan Santos Raul.
Then we’ll divorce while I drink cranberry mors,
Watching Juan Santos mop up the floors.
Then it’s off to Switzerland with my medieval castle;
Living secluded will be no hassle.
There’ll be limitless options to what I can do
Until the world comes to an end in 2032.
And then I will have died alone,
Unfulfilled and never grown.
Incomplete and unhappy my life will be,
All because of the math test on which I got an E.

June 1, 2005
Written by PhantomPhace
Published
Author's Note
A poem written for my high school calculus teacher about failing her test. She was not amused.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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