Falling Down A Rabbit Hole

It’s happening again I’m falling down a rabbit hole
I don’t know why I can’t stop my brain  
I’m overthinking and it’s slowly destroying my soul  
I’m the person causing myself the most pain  
It’s a never ending cycle I don’t want in  
I’m so tired of dying while still breathing  
Nobody’s noticing as I have no relationship with my kin  
My heart of gold is leaking nobody can see the bleeding  
Please save me from my self I scream to up above  
I’ve sinned and I repent but it was all in my quest for love  
I never got it from my mother  
All I’ve wanted is unconditional love from another  
Now I’m so beaten up and torn  
I can not believe someone loves me even when sacred promises are sworn