The Mistress Monologue

My doors are unlocked,
as are my windows,
nothing is ever unwelcoming
in this glasshouse—


comes into my home
like an old friend who shares
stories I’ve heard before.
The same light escapes
my translucent walls without
saying goodbye.
How I would like it to shake
hands with me,
whisper to my ear, or kiss my cheek,
but no—light, for all its wild brilliance,
always succumbs
to the announcement of dusk.
And now I wait
for you, my dearest


Are you lost in the woods?
Shall I send you the fireflies
from my red lantern
to show you the dirt road
which leads to my doorstep?

I want to say ‘I love you
tonight,’ but I do not.
I might have loved you
yesterday, or perhaps,
I would tomorrow.
Sometimes, I love you,
Sometimes, it seems you
love me, too.

What could be more
enlightening than to witness
sunrise after a very long night?
But light still has not arrived.
My own shadows are lost
in this pitch black.

I want to sleep with you
under the stars tonight
But there’s somebody else
in your arms, a woman
who is not me—You caress
breasts that are not mine,
Always, always,
we make different loves
under the same sky.

I shall keep
waiting for you then-
in the rain, under the sun,
or in vain.
Written by heyycyanides (Megumi Joa)
Author's Note
This writing has reference to the film I've seen last night, "Raise the Red Lantern" (1991), directed by Zhang Yimou and starring Gong Li.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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