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Image for the poem Hello :)

Hello :)

Communication is challenging. There is an automatic amount of projection of prior experience bias and disposition onto everything in our environment.  It was wisely said, "People meet us where they are, not where we are."

Anthropomorphization is common and easily recognizable as we lie together on the grass and describe the shapes in the clouds. I see a dog with floppy ears blown in the wind, one flung upward and away, one flat against his chin, one rear leg raised, perhaps an instant before micturation. You see Artemis drawing her bow defiantly to loose a quarrel against the heavens. We smile and perhaps giggle in this moment of intimacy, sharing perspectives with one another.
 
I have a condition currently known as bipolar disorder. Sometimes I am verbose and engaging, other times I am quiet and introspective. Depends more on how I am than my environment, but I always sort of shake my head at how much it influences the opinions and dispositions of those I am interacting with both in the moment and thereafter.
 
I rarely message here or speak in the forums. I have found, after many years online, that a great deal is lost in translation, that a misspoken or misunderstood word is carved into stone, as it were. My years have not only brought me lessened mood swings, but greater discretion. My behavior on site is often considered rather austere and the potency of my writes leaves people intimidated to speak with me, as the intensity of them is often all anyone here will know of me. I know this because having gotten to know people, over time, this is an oft repeated admission.
 
However, it is much more often in my nature to be loving and silly than people realize through this medium and it remains close to my thinking and understanding, just how automatic and enduring ill informed opinions are. I try to apply this lesson to the way I view others, with a circumstantial range of success, as you might imagine.
 
It is a proven fact across the decades that my ability to read people is prodigious and this is likely where I would diverge from a person on the autistic spectrum. I have an autistic friend on facebook I often talk with that I have to remind myself continually is not insensitive or self centered, but simply not built to sense and respond with the kind of social niceties that we so often rely upon, in our discourse.
 
Being a good read of people is useful in many ways. I oft times have avoided overmuch interaction with someone who proved to be unreasonable or uncaring in one form or another, where others I have known have experienced much consternation in needing more time to sort those same individuals out. It is useful in helping me to relate to others, to show them more care if they seem to need it, to know whom I will relate with better through my humorous side, my intellectual capacities or simply sensing that someone needs me to be there and to listen.
 
Since wisdom has grown and prevailed from my many mistakes and, through those mistakes, just as often caused by my foolishness as my disorder, I find that, at this juncture, to be misunderstood as austere or imperious by the casual observer that deigns not to reach out and know me further, is just fine with me. Even though I am surely missing out on enjoyable conversations with delightful people whom might think better of me through them, understand me better, what is truly of importance is that I know myself, accept myself. I do and I have.
 
It is a joy to be here with all of you, even though some few interactions have been distasteful, the overwhelming majority have been enjoyable, intriguing and, most importantly, have touched my heart. For the latter, I am deeply grateful.
 
I am often told that the quality of the responses I give to your works shows the care and effort I put into connecting with them, and through them, with you. This is how I show my love to you. That you recognize this also touches my heart.
 
As such, since it is not within my nature, as the current form of my nature has taken, to often reach out in a personal way, I want you all to know that it does not mean I do not care to know you. It is in fact quite the opposite. It is that I care, that I discipline my behavior, that I approach you with positivity and give you the best of me.  
 
And so here I will extend to you this invitation. Approach me with friendship, comportment that resonates with a reasonable and caring nature and you will find these qualities returned in kind. I look forward to interacting through your writes, regardless.
 
I hope that this letter finds you and finds you well.
 
Sincerely,
Daniel Christensen
 
Post Script,
My beloved and lifelong friend David passed away from liver cirrhosis almost exactly two years ago. I have found it true when it is said that you will make few very dear friends in this life, whom understand you and you them so well, that you can just laugh for hours on end and rarely need to explain things to one another. They are like a part of you. It has sometimes been lonely without him.
 
When we were young, he dedicated this song to me. So when he was dying at the hospital, I sang it to him.
 
Off He Goes by Pearl Jam
One, two, one, two, three, four...
Know a man...his face seemed pulled and tense...
Like he's riding on a motorbike in the strongest winds...
So I approach with tact...suggest that he should relax...
But he's always movin' much too fast...
Said he'll see me on the flipside
On this trip he's taken for a ride
He's been takin' too much on...
There he goes with his perfectly unkept clothes
There he goes...
He's yet to come back...but I've seen his picture...
It doesn't look the same up on the racks...
We go way back...
I wonder 'bout his insides...
It's like his thoughts are too big for his size...
He's been taken...where, I don't know?
Off he goes with his perfectly unkept hope...
There he goes...
And now I rub my eyes...for he has returned...
Seems my preconceptions are what should have been burned...
For he still smiles...and he's still strong...
Nothing's changed, but the surrounding bullshit, that has grown...
And now he's home, and we're laughing, like we always did...
My same old, same old friend...
Until a quarter-to-ten...
I saw the strain creep in...
He seems distracted and I know just what is gonna happen next...
Before his first step...he is off again...
DanielChristensen
Written by DanielChristensen (The Fire Elemental)
Published
Author's Note
This is a Youtube playing of the song above.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5s1d1G4Rko
This is a Youtube playing of the song above.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5s1d1G4Rko

I am dedicating this to Sky_Dancer, whose own very intimate letter I found thoroughly heart warming and inspirational. I follow in your footsteps, lady. Namaste.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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