deepundergroundpoetry.com
eternity
to feel eternity
in a moment’s delight
catching the wing beat
of a bird in flight.
in a moment’s delight
catching the wing beat
of a bird in flight.
Published 3rd Apr 2019
| Edited 4th Apr 2019
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The author encourages honest critique.
3rd Apr 2019 11:33pm
Monica, I adore the concept but the last two lines read a bit awkward. I think some edits could help the flow:
to feel eternity
in a moment’s delight
is catching the wing beat
of a bird in flight
These are just suggestions. 🐦
to feel eternity
in a moment’s delight
is catching the wing beat
of a bird in flight
These are just suggestions. 🐦
4th Apr 2019 1:21am
you always make relevant, significant suggestions. i welcome them!
i like the flow much better, it might change the intended meaning a bit.
i like the flow much better, it might change the intended meaning a bit.
4th Apr 2019 4:41pm
