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Eating Together/Sandcastles [after Kim Addonizio]

At 14, for the first time   † † † † †
my mother suggested a movie night- † † † † † † †  
††'Sandcastles', starring † † † † † † †  
†† Jan Michael Vincent. † † † † † † †
† † † † † † †  
It was a strange experience, † † † † †
††eating in the living room † † † † † † †  
††versus dining table; † † † † †
still, space lingered between us. † † † † † † †
† † † † † † †  
Being uncomfortable † † † † † † †  
is a bad amplifier: † † † † † † †  
††low, so you cut it up, † † † † † † †  
††loud, so you cut it down; † † † † † † †  
† † † † † † †  
regardless how hard you adjust † † † † † † †  
frequencies just won't balance. † † † † † † †
† † † † † † †  
My mother's tears pooled, † † † † † † †  
††inched down her silhouette † † † † † † †
††into the plate on her lap - † † † † † † †  
† † † † † † †  
I blamed the romance scenes † † † † † † †  
††and awkwardly blushed. † † † † † † †  
† † † † † † †  
We were in separate towers † † † † † † †
as silence masticated minutes † † † † † † †
too unusual to understand. † † † † † † †
† † † † † † †  
I re-watched it years later † † † † † † †
long after my mother's castle collapsed † † † † † † †
under a tide of death; † † †
( something she had known † † †
was coming for her at the time. )
† † † † † †
† † † † † † †  
I never understood why; † † † † † † †
it wasn't a pleasant memory † † † † † † †
††yet something compelled me † †  
††to watch anyway. † † † † † † †  
† † † † † † †  
Somehow, in that flickering † † † † † † †
moment of vintage film- † † † † † † †
I realized it hadn't been the romance; † † † † † † † †
† † † † † † †  
but, failure she experienced † † † † † † †
††not knowing how to relax † † † † † † †  
††or enjoy her own child; † † † † † † †
words between us praying † † † † † † †
to escape their respective towers † † † † † † †
††while they had a chance: † † † † † † †  
† † † † † † †  
something we both felt † † † † † † †
too helpless to talk about- † † † † †  
††so ate in silence instead† † † † †  
††years after 'The End '. † † † † † † † †
† † † † † † †  
~ † † †
† † †  
#KimAddonizio
Written by Ahavati
Published
Author's Note
Non-entry for eswaller's 'Mortal Trash' Classic Comp: https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/10714/

Inspiration: 'Eating Together' https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/41855/eating-together
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