The whispers from the St. Johns bridge

It was around three in the morning when i decided to go for a walk. I pulled myself up from the recliner , i put on my jeans and laced up my boots and left. I normally listen to music when i leave by myself but i didn't this time .
It was quiet i was feeling a familiar type of emptiness i thought maybe i was tired and i thought nothing of it . I was spaced out and captivated by the silence and the cold air there wasn't a car in sight and the streets were dark and empty and the air felt light  and i wasn't thinking for the first time in so long , i walked down lombard and then made it into st. johns then i saw it the bridge then i heard it , i heard them the whispers that came from the bridge i don't know what they were saying but for some reason i had this overwhelming urge to walk it , So i did i began to walk the bridge and as i walked i began to feel this weight on my chest it made me  upset then again the whispers spoke unable to understand i began to sob and at that point i was pretty far and i looked over at the water it was so calm and the lights were so dim it was peaceful but they still spoke and the feeling of grief or whatever it was got worse the feeling of confusion i began to question myself asking myself why I'm alive and how much better peoples lives would be without me how i shouldn't exist how no one really needed me . My legs felt heavy and the air got thick  but the water looked more inviting with each step i took . I stopped walking and i was in the middle of the bridge and i stared into the water how beautiful and soft it looked how i wanted to be consumed under it wrapped by its embrace how i no longer wanted to hear anything . part of me wanted to jump and in less than five minutes it would be over then i saw someone no words were said i was pulled in for a hug , i havn't had a hug in about six months i forgot what it felt like , they were warm no words were said i was just being held by a stranger in the middle of the bridge at four thirty in the morning they smelt like newports and oak i don't know if it was a man or a woman but i felt hands on my hands running over the scabs from picking at them then the scar on my wrist from an incident so long ago i felt fingers run down it , you cant see it anymore but you can feel the texture of where it was once was  , i forgot what a hug felt like i forgot what a warm body felt like i forgot what it felt like to have my hands held and not pulled on i forgot what it was like to feel any sort of affection , finally after what felt like hours they pulled away and walked away . i couldn't find the words to tell them anything i just watched them walk away . Now i wasn't going to jump i made a promise to someone that i wouldn't  because i guess they said its illegal and they havn't even met me yet , i wouldn't leave them to live in this heartless world alone. I don't want to die i just want to live a life worth living something simple something loving. but dear God i never want to hear those whispers again . Maybe i was hallucinating from lack of sleep or maybe it was the voices from everyone that jumped from the bridge , the voices of the people the water consumed , the victims of the heavy hearts and broken life's the whispers from the St. Johns Bridge and as for the person that came up and held me while i fell apart for the millionth time i thank you and i wonder were they really there ?