Iím never gonna get it
Iím never gonna have it come my way.
Itís never gonna reach me
ĎCause I keep thinking Ďbout it every day.
I glance at them all the time, and
Sometimes Iíll see them looking back at me.
And Iíll be happyÖ
Until the next day comes empty.
And jealousy, it clings to me
ĎCause I just wish that I could be
Everybodyís innermost desire.
ĎCause it takes me that much higher.
It seems so far away.
Itís not real love, I know, and
I wish that I could show that
Iím not letting it take control of me.
But it sits there in the throne of my mind,
I tell myself all the time
I donít need it, but it makes me so happy.
It takes control of me.
I know attractionís just a fling,
I tell myself itís worth nothing,
But I crave it like an animal each day.
With innermost desire,
To myself I am a liar.
How did you get instilled in me?
When you come to me in surplus
I fly so high on clouds of fantasy.
The attention that I crave so much,
Itís all the energy Iíll ever need.
My hopes reach past the sky, and,
I feed off all the looks youíre throwing me.
So the ones Iím looking out for,
Today, just please come through for me.
And then my hopes come crashing down,
You didnít even turn around
Or tilt your head to get a look at me.
Youíre my innermost desire
And Iím just the roller coaster rider.
Each day, oh innermost desire,
My happiness depends on thee.
I really have no preference
In my attachment to an essence.
I could switch them up, itíd still all be the same.
First they look at me with adoration,
Then they donít even face my direction;
Iím so confused, no clue what they feel for me.
But deep down, innermost desire,
I love the way you torment me.
The only thing Ďbout which I really care,
My world revolves around their stares;
A hilarious and worthless enterprise.
A tiny, childish-looking girl
Thinking sheís the center of their world;
Humiliating when I see it from their eyes.
This monster craves attention on demand,
Yet to them Iím but a grain of sand,
Itís the only part of me thatís real, behind my lies.
Oh what you burn with all your fire.
Why do you take me so much higher?
Youíve taken complete control of me.
How can you leave me if I donít want to be free?