Dear Me

Many hate ourselves and we may never know why
Dear me,
Iím running out of songs to write  
Theyíre about the same pain every  
Time to face the facts, to face the truth  
Iím still hurt; Iím still mad; Iím still scared of you.
You thought the universe would cheat you
And by that you cheated me  
And you laid in bed shaking,
sick; afraid to fall asleep  
But you never truly woke up from the meds
Despite a working body  
And the world has nothing to do with your current suffering  
Perhaps this whole time youíve been asleep.
Because at what moment could it have been?  
Was there one snapping moment  
that made you shut down??
You canít remember anything..
Going home from the school assembly to check your limbs for bruises,
Marks, scrapes - nothing;  
And so they werenít abusive  
No thereís nothing you can blame,  
yet you hold on too tightly to the past.
If you claim it was so bad why do you try to make everything last?  
Can you blame your mom? No. Your brothers? No. Your dad?  
Giving yourself nightmares has never made you look so bad.
The basementís hiding mold, itís time to grow up and leave  
To not hold every single thing against you,  
Good luck.
Written by kilanti
Published | Edited 17th Apr 2019
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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