I wish i could spot the first day i came into this crazy world...
Unfortunately i can't..
The only fact I am 100% sure of is..
I was born with a purpose..
God had it in plan..
That got me sneaking glances in this world..

From that innocent young boy...
Dull enough and free of sin..
I grew up to know true and false..
I regret the first day I gained that wisdom..
Of choosing between right and wrong...
Coz that didn't really bring me to harvest...
But rather complete varnish throughout..

The first day I knew to choose between wrong and right..
Was the very beginning of self destruction..
A victim of choosing to go with the wrong..
And part with the right..
Yet knowing it back at my mind..
That i was taking the wrong path..
But at the end of the day...
Enjoy living a sinful life..
Full of regrets and self torture...

Bad habits introducing themselves to me..
All along from nowhere..
And becoming my best friends..
Who I enjoyed having company with..
Yet in the real aspect..
Fake and worst friends who ruined my life...
Unfortunately difficult to part with friends..
Even after realizing they are bad friends..
Coz of the already planted seed sowed within me..
A seed that has grown and probably ready for harvest..
Therefore having me admitting to such a life..
That has bad habits in my domain..
Of which I feel uncomfortable with..
But still live as though controlled by them..

Giving in for God...
But later quitting..
Yet with no reason behind...
Catching up with many bad habits along my way...
Porn addiction,
Pre-marital sex...
To mention but a few..

As opposite to the current young generation..
Drugs have stayed away from my lifestyle..
I am 100% drug free..
Be it alcoholism...
Never ever have I had a sip..
God is my only witness..
Coz humans would believe this based on judgement..
Would be the least possible...

On the other hand...
Lustful desires have almost fully occupied my life...
Got me drained into bad habits..
That are driven by lustful desires..
I sin against my own body...
Knowing it's a big sin..
But enjoying it at the end of the day..

This doesn't deny the fact that...
I've got mob bad habits attached to my life...
That aren't driven by lustful desires..
Though which seem minor to an extent..
Coz they occupy a less portion of my life..
And occur once in a while..
Above all most cases involuntarily..

This brings several questions on my mind..
I remain a big life dreamer...
But with several success pull-backs attached to my life..
I even make it in normal life...
But with the inner me unappreciative..
Of the life that I pursue behind bars..

The question remains...
Who I am and who i wan't to become can't connect....
Yet making long term success...
With such habits attached to one's life..
Is almost an impossibility..
Yet getting rid of the already sown bad habits within me..
Seems an impossibility to an extent..

Thank God...
Who still keeps me capable of doing thing the right way..
And making success in normal life...
That gives me hope for a bright future..
And quitting these habits in the long run..
Becoming the guy I dream of..
Is what i shall eventually become..
With an inspirational story to tell...
And giving hope those who are in my lane...
The fact that I don't feel comfortable with these habits..
Is enough to prove that I shall completely get rid of them someday...
And that shall remain history...
So, help me God...

Written by; Reagan Musore

Dedicated to; The fake Reagan..

Written by MUSOREREAGAN (_reagan_de_hustla)
Author's Note
we ought to admit that we've got several spirits within us and the choice remains ours to choose which ones have to be part of us with the help of God...
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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