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deepundergroundpoetry.com
That New New Version Two
Video is here: http://syntax.nothingapplies.com/catalyst/2019/03/23/that-new-new-3/
its that new new that no one knew
from darkness into light i grew
stripped from illness in my brain
chemicals cannot remain the same
they call me crazy if they only knew
all the pain and sadness i went through
they call it a disorder of mental pain
poppin pills in a fight to remain sane
everything must change
nothing remains the same
im sick of the same old thing
its bigger than i can bring
a chip on my shoulder and need no crew
its that new new that no one knew
The dark of night summoned
headlong with hatred and coming
sentient awareness becoming
Matrix coded selection
dirty rust or ocean connection
Ink dripped on albino shoulder
enlightenment once it's found it's over
Waves pummel the sand
Awakening the fear of man
Defeated essence of nefarious plot
Evil lurks and prepares it's shot
Sunlight power grows and gains
momentum of passage though the brain
Time decays into night
Demons exist, ready to take flight
its that new new that no one knew
from darkness into light i grew
stripped from illness in my brain
chemicals cannot remain the same
they call me crazy if they only knew
all the pain and sadness i went through
they call it a disorder of mental pain
poppin pills in a fight to remain sane
everything must change
nothing remains the same
im sick of the same old thing
its bigger than i can bring
a chip on my shoulder and need no crew
its that new new that no one knew
Collection of tricked communication
The terror that lives demands continuation
of navigation with a thirst of separation communicatio
from a hell of contemplation
life lived in hesitation
with limited edition social education
with illustration brought to creation
Denial of sun dripped head candy
Blinking from a space man commanding
My loneliness feeds my weakness
Day turns to night with natural sequence
Secrets stand tall as night evloves
Manifestation of bleakness being solved
Spider web woven and walking
Screening phone calls without talking
its that new new that no one knew
from darkness into light i grew
stripped from illness in my brain
chemicals cannot remain the same
they call me crazy if they only knew
all the pain and sadness i went through
they call it a disorder of mental pain
poppin pills in a fight to remain sane
everything must change
nothing remains the same
im sick of the same old thing
its bigger than i can bring
a chip on my shoulder and need no crew
its that new new that no one knew
Night erodes to nightmare
Risen to heaven with an answered prayer
Deportation from hell grabs my breath
Lungs starving for air or death
Souls passed without identity
Unnamed and never free
Destination given to me
out of reach despite the pleas
Long gone in pain and fire
grappled stronger as I flew higher
Ashes rising above a funeral pyre
Into blackness my mind retires
Danger of self inflicted harm
blasted out with red alert alarm
A discovery of how evil manifests
Its existence in mortal world is a test
Penance for past sins paid
The web of lies to which I strayed
Warmth of day into that good night
Vengeance gripping my throat tight
I saw with fierce blinding sight
I would not rage against the dying of the light
its that new new that no one knew
from darkness into light i grew
stripped from illness in my brain
chemicals cannot remain the same
they call me crazy if they only knew
all the pain and sadness i went through
they call it a disorder of mental pain
poppin pills in a fight to remain sane
everything must change
nothing remains the same
im sick of the same old thing
its bigger than i can bring
a chip on my shoulder and need no crew
its that new new that no one knew
Mystery of unknown injuries
Around my head they try to squeeze
My mind clouds a vicious haze
With pain my sanity is set ablaze
These voices haunt my days
Mocking me and always stay
A spectacle for those blurred strangers
Hiding in the shade dripping with danger
Witness a replay of choking blackness
My sins are dues and are paid with madness
No escape from doubt, from shame,
No avoidance from confusion, or from pain,
Until it sleeps it keeps my mind insane
Lost hope that truth crushed to earth
will rise again once given birth
Hell of my own acceptence
Torture my thoughts relentless
Mental loop of pain defenseless
Clutched to darkness made senseless
Questions inside my head rattle
A soldier against blackness battles
The weight of shame sold like cattle
Desire for life and death my mind straddles
Would the sound of a 9 to my head be heard?
Would my pain and shame finally be cured?
Would I already be found in that other place?
Would my father no longer recognize my face?
its that new new that no one knew
from darkness into light i grew
stripped from illness in my brain
chemicals cannot remain the same
they call me crazy if they only knew
all the pain and sadness i went through
they call it a disorder of mental pain
poppin pills in a fight to remain sane
everything must change
nothing remains the same
im sick of the same old thing
its bigger than i can bring
a chip on my shoulder and need no crew
its that new new that no one knew
The dark of night summoned
headlong with hatred and coming
sentient awareness becoming
Matrix coded selection
dirty rust or ocean connection
Ink dripped on albino shoulder
enlightenment once it's found it's over
Waves pummel the sand
Awakening the fear of man
Defeated essence of nefarious plot
Evil lurks and prepares it's shot
Sunlight power grows and gains
momentum of passage though the brain
Time decays into night
Demons exist, ready to take flight
its that new new that no one knew
from darkness into light i grew
stripped from illness in my brain
chemicals cannot remain the same
they call me crazy if they only knew
all the pain and sadness i went through
they call it a disorder of mental pain
poppin pills in a fight to remain sane
everything must change
nothing remains the same
im sick of the same old thing
its bigger than i can bring
a chip on my shoulder and need no crew
its that new new that no one knew
Collection of tricked communication
The terror that lives demands continuation
of navigation with a thirst of separation communicatio
from a hell of contemplation
life lived in hesitation
with limited edition social education
with illustration brought to creation
Denial of sun dripped head candy
Blinking from a space man commanding
My loneliness feeds my weakness
Day turns to night with natural sequence
Secrets stand tall as night evloves
Manifestation of bleakness being solved
Spider web woven and walking
Screening phone calls without talking
its that new new that no one knew
from darkness into light i grew
stripped from illness in my brain
chemicals cannot remain the same
they call me crazy if they only knew
all the pain and sadness i went through
they call it a disorder of mental pain
poppin pills in a fight to remain sane
everything must change
nothing remains the same
im sick of the same old thing
its bigger than i can bring
a chip on my shoulder and need no crew
its that new new that no one knew
Night erodes to nightmare
Risen to heaven with an answered prayer
Deportation from hell grabs my breath
Lungs starving for air or death
Souls passed without identity
Unnamed and never free
Destination given to me
out of reach despite the pleas
Long gone in pain and fire
grappled stronger as I flew higher
Ashes rising above a funeral pyre
Into blackness my mind retires
Danger of self inflicted harm
blasted out with red alert alarm
A discovery of how evil manifests
Its existence in mortal world is a test
Penance for past sins paid
The web of lies to which I strayed
Warmth of day into that good night
Vengeance gripping my throat tight
I saw with fierce blinding sight
I would not rage against the dying of the light
its that new new that no one knew
from darkness into light i grew
stripped from illness in my brain
chemicals cannot remain the same
they call me crazy if they only knew
all the pain and sadness i went through
they call it a disorder of mental pain
poppin pills in a fight to remain sane
everything must change
nothing remains the same
im sick of the same old thing
its bigger than i can bring
a chip on my shoulder and need no crew
its that new new that no one knew
Mystery of unknown injuries
Around my head they try to squeeze
My mind clouds a vicious haze
With pain my sanity is set ablaze
These voices haunt my days
Mocking me and always stay
A spectacle for those blurred strangers
Hiding in the shade dripping with danger
Witness a replay of choking blackness
My sins are dues and are paid with madness
No escape from doubt, from shame,
No avoidance from confusion, or from pain,
Until it sleeps it keeps my mind insane
Lost hope that truth crushed to earth
will rise again once given birth
Hell of my own acceptence
Torture my thoughts relentless
Mental loop of pain defenseless
Clutched to darkness made senseless
Questions inside my head rattle
A soldier against blackness battles
The weight of shame sold like cattle
Desire for life and death my mind straddles
Would the sound of a 9 to my head be heard?
Would my pain and shame finally be cured?
Would I already be found in that other place?
Would my father no longer recognize my face?
Published 23rd Mar 2019
Author's Note
A poem about the first time I was suffering from schizoaffective disorder prior to my diagnosis and fight for becoming stable.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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