Don't Pull the Trigger

He sat me down after that fateful night  
Watching me silently to build up the fright  
After cleaning my mess, I had to face him  
Him and his fire and his speech about sin
 
I thought I would get the typical treatment  
Spoken to like a child to feel a miscreant  
But this time a sadness took over his eyes  
To speak of a hard and difficult time  
 
Never had I seen such submissiveness in him  
The look made me stop to wipe off my grin  
This man who had terrified me most of my life  
Was the very same who would separate me from this strife  
 
'Let me tell you a story today, because you are one of my own and you've gone astray. I want to tell you of when I was young. I was always in a hurry, like you, looking for any kind of fun. I liked to build things and make them run, find out who made them and where they were from. I built things with my hands and I hustled my parts but it would seem one night fate set a different chart. 21 years old with my whole life ahead, I thought I could get a motor for cheap, but instead, I found myself in a house full of stuff, nabbed and stored, serial numbers already buffed. When the cops came I was on my knees, with a gun to my head but I would not plead. I told the pig, I had a gun on my hip, to be honest so there wouldn't be a hitch. To this day I do not know how I faced it, but my father was so disapointed that he spit. I'll never forget how I cried as I watched the pig take the stand and lie about how I whipped it.  
 
He said I resisted and pulled my gun, fought the officers and some were forced to run
 
You will never know what it is like  
To have a motherfucker sit there and lie  
Just straight up willing to fuck up a life  
To get credit for a conviction through a crime  
 
And I had to go and pay the price  
Hustling so I could beat the felon life  
 
I got lucky at the county fixing cars for the pigs  
The very ones who stuck me in that fuckin gig  
Watching how corrupt everything was  
Cops stealing ammo and pocketing guns  
Taking the weekend to fly off to Cuba  
Fuck little girls come back in time for suppa  
But hey they wore the silver badge to glint  
And I had the record, the forever vagrant  
 
21 years old paying 30000 in remuneration  
It was either that or definite incarceration  
Married two kids, bills as large as the nation  
Hoping To find a career in the devastation  
 
It came to a point where i was hustling jobs  
Odd things here and there but it was that or rob  
Tony was a friend of mine who got into some shit  
I tell you this cause its important  
Here i am 22 years old  
I lent him 2 grand to be paid in full  
But he disappeared and didnt have the doe  
And so one night I went and busted in his door  
 
I held my 22 in my hand right under his chin  
In the dark he trembled before I could begin  
Understand where i was at right now  
I had two little girls to feed and government hounds  
Can you imagine where i was at this point in time? So I looked down at him talking as I cried.  
 
'I completely intend on killing you' i said and i really did want to. But instead I told him to have my money by Friday, left the room to resume my day. By Thursday Uncle brought me into the butcher shop, gave me a brown bag money pourin out the top. There it all was with a thousand extra. Now for the reason that I'm telling ya.  
 
You got lucky that you didn't get caught. Youve got me your siblings to help clean this out. But I know of i pulled that trigger I would have regretted it. No grudge is worth losing your head over it.'  
 
I put down the gun and took off my vest  
Sat down and squared up my stubborn chest  
Gave him a stone look that he could best  
Opened my mouth to finally confess  
 
Yeah I get it  
It was really close this time  
And its either fall apart now  
Or fall in line.