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That Gum You Like Is Going To Come Back In Style

Board up the windows
Lock the doors
I'm not part of your world anymore
I'm not represented by your hate  
I've got enough insecurities  
On my own plate  

To keep me belly full  
I'm not a fool
But I'll happily play that role  
If it means you leave me the fuck alone  
If it means sometimes  
I get to stay at home  
On my own
But rarely ever lonely  
I always dig the silence  
And enjoy my own company  
And I enjoy the company of others  
But they're few and far between  
It's not like I'm anti humanity
It's just sometimes you're all
A bit of a let-down to me  

So I  
Shut the blinds
To keep my mind blind  
To the cold world outside  
But it keeps seeping in
Reality it keeps creeping in
These walls  
Don’t fall
They just keep crumbling  
These fingers freeze  
And don't do a god damn thing  

As I desperately try  
To disconnect these cables  
But I don't seem to be able  
This rickety old Bridge  
Is no longer all that stable  

She said  
"When you get like this  
You're a nightmare  
To deal with  
I'm sick of your symbolic diagnostics  
And self-destructive characteristics
And the fires you set
Are burning bridges  
That you could do with
You need more in your life  
Than Batgirl comics and kitten kisses"

I said  
But I often feel like
I'm living my life  
In the wrong movie
I auditioned for Jack Burton
But somehow wound as an extra  
In a romantic comedy
It's not even like
I'm playing Paul Rudd’s best friend
I was the dude
Waaaaay off in the back
When they broke up in that cafe
And I was told how to react
For some reason life
Always seems to feel like that

And it's hard to build bridges
When you're busy building walls  
And it’s hardest  
To watch the darkness  
Make so many good people fall  
And sometimes it's hard to stand tall
When you carry so much regret  
On your shoulders  
When you start to get older
And you worry that  you're just getting colder  

I'll be alright
But thanks for the advice  
The thought was nice
Now I'll go to bed  
Kiss my kitten goodnight
And sleep for never  
I'll see you later
Written by Bridge818
Author's Note
A poem about feeling disconnected from life, trying to find your path, then inevitably growing comfortable with the serenity that comes with being alone.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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