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Fears

They do not know the things I fear
for I fear that they should know
They do not see my hidden tears
frozen in the snow

I hear the tinkling of a bell
in a vast and open hall
a thunderous roar to shake the earth
summons me to the call

I'm broken somewhere deep inside
I know not where or when
it's not a matter of my pride
or a matter of my sin

It's not that I am numb or dumb
or can not feel as they
it seems quite clear as they draw near
I feel more than they say

I'm broken somewhere deep inside
I don't know what it is
but it makes me tired like a stone
floating in the abyss

I'm broken somewhere deep inside
I'll say it o'er again
don't try to fix me they have tried
don't try to understand

I'll burn you up like molten soot
and drown you in black mud
Before I tell you where I'm put
I'll boil up your blood

For a secret kept
for the simple sake
of a wandering eye
and a birthday cake
of a slight reprieve
from the agony
of the hawklike eyes
that are watching me

For a secret kept
for the sole warrant
of uncertainty
in the way we went
of a certainty
in the pain of sight
like a mouse that hides
at the touch of light

I have no out
in this deadly race
in the pale moonlight
of this fiery chase
I have no reason
yet to run
but the fear inside
has just begun

If you think you see
what I have to show
then I'll spin you about
and I'll let you know
if e'er you see
what I happen to be
I'll pull you in
to the paradigm flow

The world is magic
you have been warned
and magic is worst
when it's been scorned
Your world is tight
like a sinking ship
which with gold jet black
has been adorned

Don't miss this trip
pick up the slack
you're comin' with me
and not going back
Your world is done
your soul is through
you'll ne'er again
know what is true

when I'm done with you

My soul is glass
in shattered shards
quite sharp like glass
'gainst charcoal scraped
I can not keep
you out but I
can keep the few
that 'lmost escaped

I do not know
the things I fear
it doesn't show
'cause it isn't here

I'm just afraid
like the sun is brown
for a secret kept
is a bitter crown
and if you see
we'll both go down
Written by scarletegret (Sasha Fenn)
Published
Author's Note
Inspired a bit by the Shadow Children sequence by Margaret Peterson Haddix, (the idea of people for whom it hurts to be seen.) I think of this work as an example of a "malevolent narrator" story, analogous to the idea of an "unreliable narrator" that is commonly employed by storytellers.

I forged this work out of dark times in my life and didn't attempt to make it uniform in rhyme scheme or rhythm. While I think the result flows a bit brokenly, I prefer to leave it unrevised so as to maintain the integrity of the emotions manifested in the work. I'm still open to criticism, as it may help me write better going forward, but this poem I've left as is.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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