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deepundergroundpoetry.com
A Vixen's Search
I watch closely
noting your reactions to my truths
I like your doubt
such a sweet delicacy
I soak in the tone and timbre of your voice
how will it weigh against your guttural growls?
leaning in closer I smell your cologne
how will it mix with the sweat of our bodies?
your masculinity is intoxicating
but oblivion is what I seek
it speaks well toward your constitution
and this you will need
your intelligence is captivating
but can you comprehend what I have to teach
are you ready?
for I am coming for you
I will put you to my blade and
you will bleed
careful as you balance on my perfectly honed edge
pleasure to one side
pain the other
I will feast on you and you will tremble
I will consume you
then sweetly beg for more
will you be the one I seek?
Published 6th Mar 2019
| Edited 19th Sep 2019
Author's Note
This is going back to the first thing I wrote. Taking my power back one ink drop at a time.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 9
reading list entries 0
comments 21
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The author is looking for friendly feedback.
6th Mar 2019 8:39pm
6th Mar 2019 9:32pm
Anonymous
- Edited 7th May 2019 00:46am
6th Mar 2019 9:28pm
<< post removed >>
6th Mar 2019 9:32pm
Anonymous
- Edited 7th May 2019 1:45am
6th Mar 2019 9:36pm
<< post removed >>
You have no idea.. If I could only get it out on paper without arousing myself to the point of distraction.
Anonymous
- Edited 7th May 2019 1:45am
6th Mar 2019 9:53pm
<< post removed >>
6th Mar 2019 10:12pm
6th Mar 2019 11:01pm
6th Mar 2019 11:06pm
7th Mar 2019 00:23am
You actually did an awesome job for writing poetry for the first time. The only advice I would give though is to work more on description and imagery. For example, how did the cologne smell or how was it intoxicating? The imagery is important so that we can smell, see, or feel something, instead of saying someone is wearing cologne. Otherwise, I love the poem.
7th Mar 2019 00:28am
Thank you so much for your guidance and advice. To be honest this first one just spilled out (quite literally). We grow as we go. Especially when we keep company with those willing to teach.
7th Mar 2019 00:33am
I'm so glad you took the constructive criticism well:) I wrote the same way when first starting out writing my poetry and I kept hearing that from so many folks that I needed to work on the imagery and description...to stop telling but SHOW. I finally got it!! Lol. You are absolutely right. As you write more, you will get more practiced at how to hone your skills and perfect your poetry. Write every day and I would love to read more of your stuff as you go along:)
7th Mar 2019 1:52am
Poetry is the act of the heart communicating to the mind.
That's my opinion.
Obliteration is what I seek.
That level of power exchange challenges the grid, and that level of commitment to the emotional energy defines poetry.
"No ideas but in things." Emotions are real and run the show by how we deal with things....daily.
Obliteration is final. Emotional....not just business.
That's my opinion.
Obliteration is what I seek.
That level of power exchange challenges the grid, and that level of commitment to the emotional energy defines poetry.
"No ideas but in things." Emotions are real and run the show by how we deal with things....daily.
Obliteration is final. Emotional....not just business.
7th Mar 2019 1:57am
7th Mar 2019 2:02am
Thank you for such encouraging words. They are much needed and appreciated. Trying to find my legs here.
7th Mar 2019 2:07am
You have all you need it seems to express beautifully ... I sense a little nervousness but thatll fade in practice ... Bless and love ..
7th Mar 2019 2:10am
10th Mar 2019 8:23pm
Time to lose all fluid control to the max. i guess you can call it 'bleed out lovin'.
