deepundergroundpoetry.com
Fantasy-Fiend- Fuck (2)
A fuck?
A fantasy?
Surreal?
Baby,I am your fiend!
This is not a dream I am Real!
I'm right here
I'm not going anywhere
Gripped; impaled by your dick
Bound by you, in your capacity
I am in your captivity
R a p e
m e
s w e e t l y
Tie me up
lick my lips
slap me hard
embrace me, tenderly
bite my cheeks
thrust in deeply
arch my back
pull my hair
hold me down
choke me, gently
R a p e
m e
s w e e t l y
Let me cry
Talk angerily in my ear
Scratch my skin
Draw my blood
Make me scream your name for more
More... More... More
I want your passion to sedate me
Please...
R a p e
m e
s w e e t l y
A fantasy?
Surreal?
Baby,I am your fiend!
This is not a dream I am Real!
I'm right here
I'm not going anywhere
Gripped; impaled by your dick
Bound by you, in your capacity
I am in your captivity
R a p e
m e
s w e e t l y
Tie me up
lick my lips
slap me hard
embrace me, tenderly
bite my cheeks
thrust in deeply
arch my back
pull my hair
hold me down
choke me, gently
R a p e
m e
s w e e t l y
Let me cry
Talk angerily in my ear
Scratch my skin
Draw my blood
Make me scream your name for more
More... More... More
I want your passion to sedate me
Please...
R a p e
m e
s w e e t l y
Published 22nd Nov 2011
| Edited 5th Dec 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 8
reads 1642
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The author encourages honest critique.
22nd Nov 2011 9:22am
the poem shows barely maniac freaking out of eruptive passion. what an orgastic explosive yearning to sedate !
22nd Nov 2011 1:58pm
With everything that is done or said.. it means nothing if there isnt passion.
Thanks for the comment :)
Thanks for the comment :)
22nd Nov 2011 7:55pm
Well idk about the 'guns' part but i'd more say 'drugs'. And with that said i suppose since 'guns' is one your vices i guess it can be thrown in there.. in that category :p
Thanks for the comment :)
Thanks for the comment :)
Anonymous
22nd Nov 2011 8:29pm
<< post removed >>
22nd Nov 2011 8:51pm
Fiveman:
blushes, coming from you im quite esteemed. Glad you loved it!! Thanks for the comment!
blushes, coming from you im quite esteemed. Glad you loved it!! Thanks for the comment!
Anonymous
2nd Dec 2011 4:01pm
Hey J. I think it was the insistence of the line 'I am REAL' in the first stanza that drew me in to this one. I wonder was that emphasis born of frustration with the limitations of the writing process in expressing these emotions or did it relate to something going on in real relationship. I don't mean to pry, but the question is significant in terms of the nature of the poem.
Your catch-line 'Rape me sweetly' is a great one, totally catching the delicate balance between passion, violence and love in this one. I reckon it should be your title in fact. If you're sticking with your triple F title, I'd make it 'Fantasy Fuck Fiend' because it works on several levels.
Also 'gripped by your dick' rankled a little (dicks are more gripped than gripping in my experience!) so I'd make it 'impaled by' or 'pinned by' o/s.
All in all though, this one works for me! R.
Your catch-line 'Rape me sweetly' is a great one, totally catching the delicate balance between passion, violence and love in this one. I reckon it should be your title in fact. If you're sticking with your triple F title, I'd make it 'Fantasy Fuck Fiend' because it works on several levels.
Also 'gripped by your dick' rankled a little (dicks are more gripped than gripping in my experience!) so I'd make it 'impaled by' or 'pinned by' o/s.
All in all though, this one works for me! R.
2nd Dec 2011 4:25pm
Red :)
@Real- both out of frustration and it relates to whats going on in this (quote"e) real r'ship.
@Prying- thats relative; heyyy you pickd up the significance.
@Rape me sweetly- you said it how it is: Love, violence & passion.
@FFF-yh sticking with it. It doesnt really have a specific order bc each word relates interchangeably but i see your viewpoint tho.
@gripped- hahahahaha #Dead! (People are looking at me like im crazy im laughing so hard)Whilst your statement is correct it was stated like that for the sarcasm.
Thoroughly enjoyed reading/ replying to you feedback. Thanks Much, so pleased you like it.
@Real- both out of frustration and it relates to whats going on in this (quote"e) real r'ship.
@Prying- thats relative; heyyy you pickd up the significance.
@Rape me sweetly- you said it how it is: Love, violence & passion.
@FFF-yh sticking with it. It doesnt really have a specific order bc each word relates interchangeably but i see your viewpoint tho.
@gripped- hahahahaha #Dead! (People are looking at me like im crazy im laughing so hard)Whilst your statement is correct it was stated like that for the sarcasm.
Thoroughly enjoyed reading/ replying to you feedback. Thanks Much, so pleased you like it.
