deepundergroundpoetry.com
Cloudburst
The clouds looming overhead
Looking like a chance of rain
Precipitation hits the street
Peace of mind down the storm drain
But I ignore this, try to write
And not touch the red delete
Few reads and no comments
But I cannot admit defeat
I try to avoid the pointless rhymes
A rhythm that just goes nowhere
I attempt to let it flow
And do it with a bit of flair
But the rigors of my chosen style
Seem to lock me in their grip
It appears the closing of a trap
As I feel my reason slip.
Looking like a chance of rain
Precipitation hits the street
Peace of mind down the storm drain
But I ignore this, try to write
And not touch the red delete
Few reads and no comments
But I cannot admit defeat
I try to avoid the pointless rhymes
A rhythm that just goes nowhere
I attempt to let it flow
And do it with a bit of flair
But the rigors of my chosen style
Seem to lock me in their grip
It appears the closing of a trap
As I feel my reason slip.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 2
comments 13
reads 733
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Cloudburst
28th Feb 2019 7:23pm
I know the feeling..... and have been trying to fight that delete button myself.
But I love your style, whether it rhymes or not. :)
Keep it up, and don't ever, EVER admit defeat!!
But I love your style, whether it rhymes or not. :)
Keep it up, and don't ever, EVER admit defeat!!
0
Re: Re. Cloudburst
28th Feb 2019 7:35pm
Thank you for the encouraging words, brokentitatium. I had misgivings about posting this one and, yes, I was prepared to hit delete. Comments like yours give me heart. Thank you!
Anonymous
- Edited 22nd Feb 2020 11:45am
28th Feb 2019 7:24pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. Cloudburst
28th Feb 2019 7:40pm
Might take awhile. I seem to have hit a wall, but a breakthrough is possible. I will keep at it and hope for the best. Thank you!
Re. Cloudburst
28th Feb 2019 7:40pm
dearest Thomas please don't fret to me poetry is all about communications
and we do it worldwide even if not getting responses we get read...
I love your rhyme and rhythm don't lose hope...
love Brenda ❤
and we do it worldwide even if not getting responses we get read...
I love your rhyme and rhythm don't lose hope...
love Brenda ❤
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Re: Re. Cloudburst
28th Feb 2019 7:44pm
I won't lose hope, Brenda. I just wish I could write in free form styles. You do it marvelously. Thank you for the comment and the inspiration of your work.
Re: Re. Cloudburst
28th Feb 2019 7:48pm
it wasn't always the case dearest Thomas and there is often an internal rhythm in my poems I can't adhere to... I just say what's ever on my crazy mind at the time you should try it's liberating :)
I love you Thomas ❤
I love you Thomas ❤
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Re. Cloudburst
28th Feb 2019 8:10pm
Wonderful write my poet ... great introspection ... great emoting/evoking ... sends such feeling ... so relatable ...
0
Re: Re. Cloudburst
28th Feb 2019 8:25pm
I'm just glad it isn't too personal. And I'm delighted you can relate to this. Good to know I have that kind of effect. I tend to write pure fiction in poetic form, and thought I was getting a bit too involved with my insecurities in "Cloudburst. Maybe not. I will keep trying to vary my themes and styles, hope for the best. Thank you for the kind comment and inclusion in your reading list.
Re. Cloudburst
28th Feb 2019 9:43pm
Crow.. really dig this.. great ink.. loved the flow, and wording.. much respect..
Dave
Dave
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Re: Re. Cloudburst
1st Mar 2019 9:23pm
Re. Cloudburst
28th Feb 2019 10:09pm
Re: Re. Cloudburst
1st Mar 2019 9:24pm