deepundergroundpoetry.com
Duel Monsters
Dark Magick locked away
Only for sorcerers to let loose
Forging their magic into a deck
That they’ve stacked for war
These conclaves wage battles
Against one another within a realm
Consisting of the darkest shadows
Wherein the monsters become real
Using these cards to activate the magick
Summoning demons and monsters
As well as traps and equips and environment
All used strategically for a magical war
For thousands of years since Ancient Egypt
These monsters have decided entire wars
Destruction caused with cards as weapons
All using the elements at their side
Fire, water, air, earth, darkness and light
All fueling the mights of the beasts
Different sorts and powers
Even some can possess powers of Gods
Owned by Dustin Smith: Bastardofbodom666
Only for sorcerers to let loose
Forging their magic into a deck
That they’ve stacked for war
These conclaves wage battles
Against one another within a realm
Consisting of the darkest shadows
Wherein the monsters become real
Using these cards to activate the magick
Summoning demons and monsters
As well as traps and equips and environment
All used strategically for a magical war
For thousands of years since Ancient Egypt
These monsters have decided entire wars
Destruction caused with cards as weapons
All using the elements at their side
Fire, water, air, earth, darkness and light
All fueling the mights of the beasts
Different sorts and powers
Even some can possess powers of Gods
Owned by Dustin Smith: Bastardofbodom666
Published 17th Nov 2011
| Edited 20th Mar 2012
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Anonymous
17th Nov 2011 11:40pm
......for a long time now you have been working angles like these, and though I salute your improving vocabulary, you are continuing to miss a vital ingredient in your writing. Where is the place in which you let the reader in to share an experience, or feel something of the existence of another? This work reads like an excerpt from a 2nd rate fantasy novel; mixed-up mythologies and look-out-for-the-bogeymen lines.
Your challenge is to make the reader feel something. Relate to us, not preach to us. This will require from you a level of bravery, yet will also provide you with much pleasure when you achieve it. Right now you are wallowing among the hoards of teenage writers who pump this stuff out, and it seems a shame that you should waste your obvious joy of words in tending the wrong parts of the garden.
DP.
Your challenge is to make the reader feel something. Relate to us, not preach to us. This will require from you a level of bravery, yet will also provide you with much pleasure when you achieve it. Right now you are wallowing among the hoards of teenage writers who pump this stuff out, and it seems a shame that you should waste your obvious joy of words in tending the wrong parts of the garden.
DP.
Anonymous
18th Nov 2011 11:36am
A card game by the same name as this poem? I'm pretty sure, although I feel like a kid again knowing this! :)
18th Nov 2011 7:24pm
