deepundergroundpoetry.com
Simple Pleasures
On the border of a little town near Boston, a busker sleeps in an abandoned boxcar,
a bunker from the brutality of the busy streets; the bane of his bitter existence.
With a banjo by his side, a bottle of booze in his hand, and a dirty, blue bandana tightly wrapped around his head, he dreams of better days, when these blissful moments were experienced in far less brevity; Long before a brush stroke of bad luck painted his skies from blue to grey.
Under the bright moonlight, he dreams of times when life was simple.
Of benevolent sunrises over lush, green bovine fields...
The smell of bacon cooking...
And coffee brewing at breakfast time...
A warm embrace...
A familiar face...
A comfortable place...
Of the simple pleasures that make life worth living.
And there in that boxcar, under the light of the moon, he felt happiness again, if only for a moment.
a bunker from the brutality of the busy streets; the bane of his bitter existence.
With a banjo by his side, a bottle of booze in his hand, and a dirty, blue bandana tightly wrapped around his head, he dreams of better days, when these blissful moments were experienced in far less brevity; Long before a brush stroke of bad luck painted his skies from blue to grey.
Under the bright moonlight, he dreams of times when life was simple.
Of benevolent sunrises over lush, green bovine fields...
The smell of bacon cooking...
And coffee brewing at breakfast time...
A warm embrace...
A familiar face...
A comfortable place...
Of the simple pleasures that make life worth living.
And there in that boxcar, under the light of the moon, he felt happiness again, if only for a moment.
Published 25th Jan 2019
Author's Note
This was written for MadameLavender's 'Through the alphabet' challenge for the letter B.
I was kind of stepping outside of my normal style with this one, mostly due to the fact that the poem had to feature specific words, some of which I rarely, if ever use (perhaps that was the point). Here is the list of words that were required:
Boston
Blue
Bandana
Bright
Brevity
Bovine
Brush
Boxcar
Banjo
Benevolent
I was kind of stepping outside of my normal style with this one, mostly due to the fact that the poem had to feature specific words, some of which I rarely, if ever use (perhaps that was the point). Here is the list of words that were required:
Boston
Blue
Bandana
Bright
Brevity
Bovine
Brush
Boxcar
Banjo
Benevolent
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 14
reading list entries 1
comments 25
reads 693
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 5th Feb 2019 2:45am
25th Jan 2019 7:26am
<< post removed >>
Thanks again, Path_Of_Time for the great feedback! I'm a big fan of Simon and Garfunkel, so I'll take the nice compliment :)
"we take the simplest things for granted often....til we lose them."
You perfectly summed up the final message here, so I'm glad that I was able to successfully relay that. It really is the simple pleasures in life that keep us going, and I really wanted to capture that here.
From first hand experience, when you're deprived of worldly comforts, your priorities change, and it teaches you to learn to appreciate the simple pleasures in life again, which most of us take for granted on a daily basis... (no, I've never been homeless, but I've had to do without things).
Edit: I was actually struggling with a title for this one, and I still wasn't 100% satisfied with the one I'd chosen, so thanks for giving me the 'aha' moment that finally helped me come up with this title. I considered all of the following before settling on better days, and I still wasn't happy:
'Happiness'
'The Pursuit of Happiness'
'Better Days'
'Dreaming of Brighter Days'
'Boxcar Bliss'
'Boxcar Blues'
... And the just goes on!
I doubt I'll change it again, but I'm curious which title others would like too. I can't believe I hadn't even considered 'Simple Pleasures'!
"we take the simplest things for granted often....til we lose them."
You perfectly summed up the final message here, so I'm glad that I was able to successfully relay that. It really is the simple pleasures in life that keep us going, and I really wanted to capture that here.
From first hand experience, when you're deprived of worldly comforts, your priorities change, and it teaches you to learn to appreciate the simple pleasures in life again, which most of us take for granted on a daily basis... (no, I've never been homeless, but I've had to do without things).
Edit: I was actually struggling with a title for this one, and I still wasn't 100% satisfied with the one I'd chosen, so thanks for giving me the 'aha' moment that finally helped me come up with this title. I considered all of the following before settling on better days, and I still wasn't happy:
'Happiness'
'The Pursuit of Happiness'
'Better Days'
'Dreaming of Brighter Days'
'Boxcar Bliss'
'Boxcar Blues'
... And the just goes on!
I doubt I'll change it again, but I'm curious which title others would like too. I can't believe I hadn't even considered 'Simple Pleasures'!
Anonymous
- Edited 5th Feb 2019 2:45am
26th Jan 2019 6:41am
<< post removed >>
Anonymous
25th Jan 2019 11:13pm
Hey NewB,
For stepping out of your boundaries, you did a fantastic job.
You're a really great writer, my friend. I enjoyed that immensely, as I always do with your works.
I'm glad you're on my following, because I always know it's going to be a good read.
MZ.
For stepping out of your boundaries, you did a fantastic job.
You're a really great writer, my friend. I enjoyed that immensely, as I always do with your works.
I'm glad you're on my following, because I always know it's going to be a good read.
MZ.
26th Jan 2019 3:47am
Thank you so much, Mathew! I felt a little unsure of myself with this one, but ultimately I liked the way it turned out.
I really don't have words for how honored I am, that you enjoy my writing so much; it's really encouraging to hear things like that... And it's what drives me to share my poetry with the world. This website is helping to make me more confident in my writing, and it's all thanks to people like you :)
Anyway, thanks again for your wonderful compliments, and thanks for stopping by!
I really don't have words for how honored I am, that you enjoy my writing so much; it's really encouraging to hear things like that... And it's what drives me to share my poetry with the world. This website is helping to make me more confident in my writing, and it's all thanks to people like you :)
Anyway, thanks again for your wonderful compliments, and thanks for stopping by!
Anonymous
26th Jan 2019 4:35am
Hey my friend,
I know what you mean, I'm always unsure about my writing, and it's really nice to hear the nice people's compliments.
You've really done it yourself though. Your writing keeps getting better, and a lot of people are noticing.
You're doing great!
Keep going.
Your friend,
Matthew.
I know what you mean, I'm always unsure about my writing, and it's really nice to hear the nice people's compliments.
You've really done it yourself though. Your writing keeps getting better, and a lot of people are noticing.
You're doing great!
Keep going.
Your friend,
Matthew.
26th Jan 2019 00:51am
Anonymous
- Edited 7th May 2019 00:46am
26th Jan 2019 12:26pm
<< post removed >>
26th Jan 2019 1:44pm
Hey Barona, your compliment and RL mean a lot, especially coming from a wonderful writer as yourself. Thanks so much :)
Anonymous
- Edited 7th May 2019 00:46am
26th Jan 2019 1:50pm
<< post removed >>
26th Jan 2019 2:04pm
Aww, thank you, Barona!
This website is definitely a catalyst for personal growth, and has helped me to become a more confident writer. It's a wonderful community, you guys are great :)
This website is definitely a catalyst for personal growth, and has helped me to become a more confident writer. It's a wonderful community, you guys are great :)
26th Jan 2019 12:44pm
Loved the stark contrasting imagery! Especially Having lived in a small steeltown in a home next to the RR tracks. As a young boy, i loved getting up before sunrise and jumping a boxcar down to the Ohio to exolore and fish.
Now i am a word hobo, less risky. Great write, enjoyed.
Now i am a word hobo, less risky. Great write, enjoyed.
26th Jan 2019 2:08pm
Heh, I'm really glad that you enjoyed it, and we're able to relate. Thanks for the compliment, and for sharing your personal experiences as well!
26th Jan 2019 1:05pm
You did a great job with both word usage and subject matter. I can picture the futility and also the moment of happiness from good memories. I prefer rhyme but this was sell done.
26th Jan 2019 2:11pm
Hello eightmore,
I'm glad that you enjoyed the poem. Thank you for the detailed feedback, and for taking time out of your day to read and comment. I really do appreciate that!
I'm glad that you enjoyed the poem. Thank you for the detailed feedback, and for taking time out of your day to read and comment. I really do appreciate that!
Anonymous
- Edited 21st Sep 2020 1:45pm
26th Jan 2019 10:12pm
<< post removed >>
26th Jan 2019 10:56pm
Any of could be this guy if we aren't careful...
Thanks for your comment!
Thanks for your comment!
Anonymous
- Edited 22nd Feb 2020 11:45am
27th Jan 2019 7:44am
<< post removed >>
27th Jan 2019 6:10pm
Thanks Renaissance,
I liked this competition in particular because it made me step outside of my 'box', or my comfort zone, which helps me to grow as a writer. As I said in the author's note, I rarely words like boxcar, bovine, and bandana, so it was kind of like painting a picture with a new palette of colors you've never experimented with - an enjoyable learning experience :)
Thanks so much for your kind words, and for taking the time to give me honest feedback. I spent a lot of time on this one, so it really means a lot!
I liked this competition in particular because it made me step outside of my 'box', or my comfort zone, which helps me to grow as a writer. As I said in the author's note, I rarely words like boxcar, bovine, and bandana, so it was kind of like painting a picture with a new palette of colors you've never experimented with - an enjoyable learning experience :)
Thanks so much for your kind words, and for taking the time to give me honest feedback. I spent a lot of time on this one, so it really means a lot!
Anonymous
- Edited 22nd Feb 2020 11:45am
27th Jan 2019 6:33pm
<< post removed >>
3rd Feb 2019 9:25pm
3rd Feb 2019 9:40pm
Thanks so much for the nice compliment. The competition has ended, and I won! Thank you!
3rd Feb 2019 9:44pm
ahh..always late to the party i am...ha..
that said..congrats..it was a well deserved win..
your poetic gifts exudes...
that said..congrats..it was a well deserved win..
your poetic gifts exudes...
18th Feb 2023 7:03pm
