December 26, 2018

More than a hundred reasons why
I choose to die tonight
I know you'll never understand
I know it doesn't make sense
But this is my life
I choose what I do with it
Call me crazy and say I'm insane
But you don't know the depth of the darkness I live in day by day
You do not know what it's like

We can spend wasted hours going over it
Again and again
But you will never comprehend
You can pretend and tell me it will be alright
But the fact is it won't
Not today not tomorrow not ever
Well maybe just for a little while
But reality always has a way of kicking its way in
Leaving me feeling dejected again

And yes I'm a coward
I'm weak and powerless
In every family there's always one reject
A role I try desperately not to assume
But here I am, writing my heart out like it matters
I could never get everything i need to say out
With words or on paper or through actions
And maybe you'll be angry
Or maybe you won't even care
Maybe tears will flood your eyes
Or maybe you'll never hear

But either way life goes on
And just know that I'm sorry
I'm sorry that you met me
I'm sorry i couldn't find reasons to smile
I'm sorry that i died.
Written by bleedin-heart-gurl
Author's Note
I wrote down how i was feeling on that particular day. It help a bit to alleviate the inner turmoil.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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