I've turned into a chick

Holy mother fucking shit
Iíve turned into a chick

What the hell is going on
and where the hellís my dick

My bodyís gone all soft
and I have lost my beard

My voice is now a soprano † † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
ĎCos my balls have disappeared

O.K, O.K, lets stay calm
Donít stress out, don't fret

Let's take a look in the mirror
God Damn! Iím a hot brunette!

But I distinctly recollect † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
growing up as a boy

How couldíve this happened?
Did I drink too much soy?

Wow, check me out, †I have got
double D size boobs

I guess I should accept my womanhood
So itís time to shave my pubes

Shavey, shavey, shavey, shave
What should I do today?

Shavey, shavey, shavey, shave
Wait a minute, does this mean Iím gay?

Better check out pics of naked ladies
to see if they still turn me on

I hope to hell Iím a lesbian
and not a fan of the shlong

Iím google imaging ďsexy slutsĒ
to see if they make me feel randy

Oh phew, thatís good Iím horny
My new girl name shall be ĎKandyí

So now that Iím a sexy bitch
I better get some sexy bitch clothes

A bra, g-string and mini skirt
high heels and some panty hoes

Iím driving down to the shops in the nude
just like Lady Godiva

Why do I keep on bumping into things?
Must be Ďcos †Iím a woman driver

I pull up outside of Kmart
and strut right into the place

Some dickhead wolf whistles at me
So I punch him right in the face

ďDonít objectify meĒ I say to him
ďI didnít come here to be harassedĒ

ďNow get the fuck out of here
before I really kick your assĒ

So the dickhead quickly runs away
and I go into Kmart

I head over to the womenís clothes
and accidentally do a fanny fart

I pick out a red bra and knickers
and a cute denim mini skirt

Some fishnet stockings and high heel shoes
Look at me, Iím a foxy little flirt

Just realised I didnít bring my wallet
So Iím gonna have to sneak out without paying

But now that Iím a sexy chick
I think I deserve free shit, if you know what Iím saying.
Written by RexDurkin
Author's Note
These are just jokes
I love women
most of them are better drivers than me
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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