The Stuff of a Faulkner Novel

This is a beautiful narration of loss and its accompaniment, Muses.  

While reading, I wanted to suggest a bit of space between thoughts so that I could relax and enjoy the read. However, having reached the end, I realize that the format is most likely what you were intending - there are no pauses in time; we grab what we can as long as we are able.

There are a few spots I have suggestions for. I'll type them up asap.

Yes, I think since the subject matter involved hoarding, my strategy was to overwhelm the reader by having 1) a very long poem and 2) almost a disjointed narrative. It still needs work, but I realized I never wrote any poetry about my mother's family so this one seemed the place to start

I only have a few minor suggestions I will post after dinner!

been working diligently on this one .... improved? tried to cut some parts out which I think didn't relate to theme and worked on punctuation

Okay, I've made some minor adjustments ( compared to the relative size of this); however, I do think we should consider proper capitalization as well as punctuation.  While there will be no spaces to breath, the reader will at least be able to absorb the moments as they happen.  

The Stuff of a Faulkner Novel
the children were given guns;
pellet guns to kill
rats in the house – ← lost the extra the and combined L3 & 4
twenty year old candy
residing in fifty year-old fridge ← hyphenated year-old
moth-eaten clothes
mildew(ed) pages of books ← altered the tense of mildew
forming stacked tunnels ← altered the tense of form and rearranged the syntax a bit
receipts from stores
closed decades before
tarnished silver
rotting wicker chair
old ( twenties ) player piano < – relocated twenties/removed
well in tune
despite three missing keys < rearranged the syntax a bit
family pictures
water marks
curling the edges ← removed with and up on
from humidity  ← removed the
and Florida sun – removed the
warped doors
impossible to open
empty perfume bottles
coke cans, furs
no one could wear ← arranged this section a bit
and gold
some real
some fake
war trophies too
when Bud fought ← removed from
in ‘the’ South Pacific ← inserted the
I'd rather not tell you
what those boxes contained:
Civil War diary
and Revolutionary money
you could smell animal feces
if you didn't turn the fan on ← excellent use of italics
there were letters ← removed and
Grandpa wrote Grandma
in the mental hospital
underneath all the filth
might be something worthy
though most of the family
thought it futile to salvage < – replaced try with salvage
Grandpa built that cedar house
with his hands
always sand on the floor
from generations of little feet
returning from the beach
seashells strung up on string
Grandma loved shelling
with me
always a project unfinished
on ( her ) sewing machine ← inserted her
hand stitched quilt
baby blanket
dance costume
she collected a lot Faulkner;  
he was our distant kin
I know now
what Faulkner knew then ← excellent use of italics
growing up
grandma told me
the treasure was in the barn
diamond rings
buried under oak tree
she didn't like anyone
in the old house
so packed
I once saw her
crawling on hands and knees
like a rat
in a sewage tunnel
she was maybe seventy-five then
later when ( she ) died ← you’re already referring to her, so use she
my aunt locked herself in the old house
no food or water
for five days
she didn't even attend
her mother's funeral
instead she took a lot of prescription
pills and anti-psychotics
to manage her bipolar
my mother
lost forty pounds
she is obese
so probably most people
didn't notice ← you’ve got the italics down pat
we buried grandma
in the orange groves
and began the expedition
of looking through the old house
we put on masks
and latex gloves
ordered dumpsters  ← removed and
trucks hauled away four tons
of treasure--
not even a quarter
of what needed to be done
before grandma died
she told me to find this watch
she wanted mom to have
based on everything you know
you can imagine what kind of request this was
she just lost her son
his tractor flipped
over into his private lake
Florida State Champion
swimmer who drowned
isn't that ironic
Grandma took my hand ← removed and
told me to find this watch ← removed and
for my mother
after she died
a few months later
I suspect from the loss of her son
I found the gold watch
miracle of miracles
I found the watch
inscribed from my great-grandmother
to my grandmother
I set it into mother's hands
Grandma told me specifically
to give this to you Mama
in all this mess of Death
my quest
for the holy grail
was a gold watch
an eternal reminder
as Chaucer once said
Time and Tide
wait for no man

Do you think we should consider spaces, at least one or two places? What about last couplet? All your suggestions were perfect, thank you for forcing me to remove articles, it is my bad habit ;-)  
 

Ha! Critiquing and cooking don't mix sometimes.

No - I'm not sure I would space. Let's work on the caps and punctuation - see what we have.

children were given guns;  < -- removed the                                                                      
pellet guns to kill                                                                              
rats in the house  
[ space ] < -- feel there should be some sort of transition here - something you could colon to signal a healthy list coming up.                                                                          
fifteen year-old candy                                                                            
( sat ) in ( a ) fifty year-old fridge                                                                            
moth-eaten clothes                                                                            
mildewed pages of books                                                                            
forming stacked tunnels —                                                                        
receipts from stores                                                                            
closed decades before                                                                            
tarnished silver                                                                            
rotting wicker chair                                          
coke cans and furs                                          
no one could wear                                            
dusty perfume                                                                          
and locks of baby hair; <-- nice addition                                          
family pictures                                                                            
watermarks <-- one word                                                                        
curling edges                                                                            
from humidity                                                                            
and Florida sun —                                  
she collected Faulkner                                                                            
(our distant kin)                                                                            
I know now                                                                            
what Faulkner knew then[ : ] <-- Great transition/signifies another list                                                                                
warped doors                                                
impossible to open                                                                                    
Civil War diary                                                                    
Revolutionary money                                                          
war trophies                                                                            
from when Bud fought                                                                            
in the South Pacific                                                                            
I'd rather not tell you      
what those boxes        
contained —                                          
bluegrass banjo  < -- corrected spelling ( nice addition )                                    
sheet music, coffee-stained <-- coffee-stained sheet music would sound better alliteratively                                          
twenties player piano                                                                                
with three missing keys;                                                                                      
you could smell          
animal feces                                        
if you didn't          
turn the fan on                                          
[T]here were letters   <-- capped There                                                                          
Grandpa wrote Grandma                                                                            
in the mental hospital                                                                            
[U]nderneath all the filth  <-- capped Underneath - new thought                                                                          
lies something worthy                                                                            
though most of the family                                                                              
thought it futile to salvage                                                                            
Grandpa built that cedar house                                                                        
with his hands .  .  .                                                                            
sand on the floor                                                                            
from generations of little feet                                          
returning from the beach                                                                            
[S]eashells strung up on string[;]   <-- capped / new thought - semi'd to connect the next line                                        
Grandma loved shelling                                                                              
with me.                                                                            
[P]rojects unfinished  <-- capped Projects / new thought                                          
on sewing machine:                                                                          
dance costume                        
patchwork quilt                                                                            
prom gown                                                                                                                    
Grandma always told me                                                                              
the treasure was in the barn;                    
genuine gold                            
and some genuine fakes                                                
[S]he didn't like anyone  <-- capped She / new thought                                                                            
in the old house                                                                            
so packed <-- would consider relocating this to the former line 'in the old, packed house                                                                    
I once saw her                                                                                    
crawling on hands and knees                                                                        
like a rat                                                                            
in a sewage tunnel—                                                                          
she was maybe seventy-five then.                                                                
[L]ater when she died <-- capped later / new thought                                                                            
my aunt locked herself                                                        
in the old house                                                                            
no food or water                                                                            
for five days . . .                                                                            
even her mother's funeral                                                
she refused to attend  <-- this couplet needs reworking / perhaps refusing to attend/ her own mother's funeral                                                                            
[P]sychiatric pills  <-- capped Psychiatric / new thought                                              
her one companion <-- removed semicolon / next line is a new thought unconnected  
I recalled   < -- here you need to clarify it's your Grandmother you're referring to on the heels of your aunt.
by her graveside  
her last request of me:  
find a gold watch  
with personal engraving  
give it to your mother                                                                                              
[W]e buried grandma   <-- capped We / new thought                                                                          
in the orange groves                                                                            
and began the expedition                                                                            
of looking through the old house:                                          
we put on masks                                                                            
and latex gloves                                                                            
ordered dumpsters                                                                            
trucks hauled away four tons                                          
of treasure —                                                                          
not even a quarter                                                                            
gone                                                                                        
I found the watch                                                                            
(miracle of miracles                                                                            
I found the watch)                              
given to my grandmother                              
by her mother                                
I set it into Mama's hands . . .                                                                                  
in all this mess                                                                            
of Death, my quest                                                                            
for the holy grail:                                                                            
a watch —  < -- too little here - added an a                                                                              
an eternal reminder                                                                              
(as Chaucer once said)                                                                            
time and tide                                                                            
wait for no man

Tag, you're it! :D

Incredibly descriptive and beautifully written... you did a wonderful job!

Thank you so much for reading! :-)