Broken Promise

The pictures leaving a void
reminding me of what I destroyed

Your memory haunts my nightmares
showing me a time when you still cared
Swirls of emotion, of grief
though what we shared was brief

At night, my subconscious calls for you
somehow, unaware that we're through
My lips still remember your kiss
how it brought complete bliss
The heat that erupted
our friendship being corrupted
You were always there to lead me through this abyss
one step ahead, you knew when something was amiss

Left without a guide
joy and regret collide

I wish I had been strong enough
to deal with your rebuff
The timing had a domino effect
my self confidence, it wrecked
Entombed again by my shell
no longer entranced by your spell
I reached out, I tried
to see how it felt, I lied
I told you it was to tell you
that we made it through
Telling you about my little boy and I
I wanted you to know, that's not a lie
I just have another reason
for my heart to commit treason
To hear your voice once more
wondering if my heart is still sore

But this time, I didn't have to lay my heart on the line
no answer, now I'm left waiting for a sign
Not that you're obligated
this wedge, I've created

But still, these dreams, they plague
I understand..even when they're vague
Apparently I'm still wondering what I ever meant to you
curious if even you, yourself, knew
In cruel times, I ponder if it would have even mattered
you wouldn't have known, you wouldn't have shattered
There isn't really a way you would have found out
eventually someone would've told you, I have no doubt
I wish we had been talking, I was so scared
maybe I could have been a bit more prepared

In a matter of months, my whole world changed
after everything, I never thought we'd be estranged
Especially during a time like this
we don't know how much we'll miss

Or have missed, we have no idea what's going on
they say nothing's appreciated until it's gone

But I swear, our friendship, I adored
there's hope, one day it can be restored
No idea how good of a friend I can be right now
I remember the promise we made, our vow
That no matter what, our friendship came first
I'm sorry that pain made me do the worst

Promises should be kept
this was hard to accept
That for the first in my life I broke a promise, a pact
my only excuse is that my composure cracked
My feelings valid, though my actions were rash
I hope you understand, I thought myself trash
You made me feel inconsequential
in a time I thought myself essential
Now that it's all said and done
it doesn't look like either of us won
Maybe, for a time, our lives needed an alteration
presently my mind brings me to our foundation

Back to where we started our game
reminding me who we were and who we became

All that happened, I won't defend
all I'm saying is that I miss my friend....
Written by ThiaTartorum
Author's Note
This is the 5th in a series I didn't think I was continuing...about that guy I sort of had a thing with. It's kind of to him.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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