I still have room to grow.

Realising how much you mentally tortured me is a curse I can't take, you was my best friend, my husband, my everything.
I risked it all for you and every time you made me feel small, how you wove your Web deep into my battle scars.
Acted like a saviour but really digging spikes so far in my eyes became glaciers.
You would mock how and admire how girl wore makeup, then moan if I wore it, then moan I didn't make effort for you, then when I did you smudged my face laughing.
You tore me down in was I couldn't even see, shouting at me where to get dressed blaming in it on old insecurting.
Turning all my family against me in my mind, mocking how little I smoked making me smoke more, to then be little me and say it was me smoking and spending your money.
You would steal from me then lie to my face, you stole loads of my belonging, never do I see them brought back and repaced, one fall out and I owe you money for your kindness.
You reminded me how alone I was ansxv tried to hold it against me.
You would be little me, saying why wouldn't I touch you, when you'd press against me with a snarl.
Me delusionalwondering what I had done wrong, trying to love this beast, who used me and fucked me good like a rag doll.
Only to be little all we had in conversations on land, telling tales of degrading women.
Waiting around for a while then leaving after sex, laughing at me and not talking to me then telling me that's how it is.
Promising me family, shouting at me for a home, while spitting on my windows.
While shouting and trying to hit my dog, you try to drag and pin my down infront of my son like some sick kick. Telling me I will get what's coming to me, you shut me out and shut me down.
Grabbing my wrists pinning me down, you shove my face with a face of pure disrespect.
A twitch in your crotch like when we go t bed, evil man, evil deeds.
You succeed on degrading me, I trusted you to show me love when I had just given birth, yet the way you treated me sticks into my soul in a blackening dirt.
I tried to unwash my sins, yet I trusted and let you in.
I try to unwash my sins, yet you broken me from a core within.
Made me feel incapable of love, of touch, of kissing, of hope, of dreaming, of concurring.
All my plans and dreams you had me sitting around waiting to be seen, taking them with you with your new friends.
Bullying me until I bent, accusing me until I left, forwards and backwards you used me as an anchor.
Draining me from my placenta, drowning me in my sorrow for love, for family, for hope.
You gracefully still hold me on the rope but what you don't know is I've woken up.
I see much more than you know and although I want to form a castration on your privates.
I still have room to grow.