Border Patrol

Such an excellent piece Ahavati!👏 I love this
"I reminisce about poetry    
old cities and moonlight –    
sacrosanct altars in worship    
between a collarbone and lips;    
a final culture of pleasure    
under a microscopic watch;"
This is so fabulously written I love every thing about it
Fantastic piece!👏

Thank you, Hunter.  Appreciated.

"I reminisce about poetry      
old cities and moonlight –     
sacrosanct altars in worship      
between a collarbone and lips;"

Such takes me back to another day ....  

Nothing will ever come between Us except for the air parted by my lips taking  delightful refuge on your neck.  

Viva la Resistance! There is no wall high enough to keep out Truth; let poetry be the battering ram that knocks down all artificial boundaries erected in needless fear! 📝❤

I Love You. 💜💏💋

  

"let poetry be the battering ram that knocks down all artificial boundaries erected in needless fear!"

Reminded me of the following two quotes:
"There is an element of almost complete freedom and frankness that can be experienced in a poem - not always the case in the political world."
{Former President Jimmy Carter, Interview, Dec 1994}.

"Poetry in my view is a defense of the individual against all the forces arrayed against him."
{Charles Simic, The Paris Review, Spring 2005}

(Both quotes from the Bloodaxe Book of Poetry Quotations, pages 168 & 166 respectively).

Beautiful.  Thank You.  📝❤😊

I Love You 💜💏💋

"were not our ancestors strangers
seeking peace in foreign countries "

Indeed so, true for just about everybody on the planet.

Exactly, Josh.  

Ahavati,
This is lovely! For me I am experiencing a connection between the political pursuits of building a wall and the walls we erect to protect ourselves. In my opinion neither are necessary. Much love for your words!
Mel

Thanks, Mel! So good to see you back!  

Written at a very poignant time right now, some of the images really worked for me. I think the ending was a little expected and there’s more exploring to do.

Thank you, and I agree; I'm currently toying with an idea that hasn't ripened yet.

I enjoyed reading this, and by way of honest critique, two observations:

1) I was puzzled at first by the lines:
snaking invisible lines     
between a bloody Babylon   
of foreign dialect       

because I was expecting something else, so that the lines could be snaked between that and Babylon.  But then I decided that you perhaps meant that the invisible lines are within Babylon itself.  Even so, the "between" sets up to expect another entity.

2) in the lines:
I reminisce about poetry       
old cities and moonlight –       
sacrosanct altars in worship       

On initial reading, " – " felt better placed on the first line.
I reminisce about poetry –  
old cities and moonlight     
sacrosanct altars in worship       

but then I thought that maybe the reminiscing is about poetry AND old cities in moonlight, in which case the stanza is good as it. But having said that, there is something about those three lines which doesn't seem quite flowingly right with the " – " on the second line.

These are both minor points that do not mar the enjoyment of this poem.

Thanks, SeaCat.

Sorry it took a bit to reply, but Mary Oliver's death hit me hard yesterday. I'm still reeling over that.  As to your points:

1) I did mean within Babylon itself. Are you familiar with the biblical tale regarding the Tower of Babel? It's where a unified people who spoke one language agreed to build a tower to heaven.  But, God struck their tongues, dividing them into different languages.  Suddenly they couldn't understand one another, which prevented them from completing the tower.  They were then scattered to the world; this, supposedly, is the origin of different dialects.  

The lines between a bloody Babylon of foreign dialect was mean to imply the current confusion and division in the world today; thus, between a bloody Babylon ( fighting and confusion ) and foreign dialect ( the cause ). I'll revisit and have a think.

2) sacrosanct altars is connected to the ensuing line - away from the previous two ( which are also connected ). I'll revisit and have a think.  But I kinda wanted a hesitation between the city and humanscape.

As I conveyed to Muses22 - this is an unfinished piece of work.  When I reach a stopping point, yet I know there's more, sometimes I put it away and come back to it in the future. Sometimes I throw it out and see what comments will spark.  The latter is something I would've never considered a few years ago. I felt everything had to be perfect.

Now? I brave the imperfection to grow.

Thank you, as always, for your time and honest critique. It's greatly appreciated.

Hello, thank you for your reply to my comment.  I do know the story of the Tower of Babel, but had not made the connection to that from your poem.

With regard to unfinished pieces of work,  I entirely agree.

When I first started, I used to write a poem, and then post it almost immediately.  I soon noticed that invariably I wanted to make changes.  

Now I understand revision to be an essential part of a poem's development.  Having said that, the idea of posting a poem knowing that it imperfect, and waiting to see what suggestions people make is intriguing, and is something that I may try sometime.

I look forward to reading your revised poem someday.

some people make borders
out of fear
others
out of flower beds ..

Love that, Paul.

In the somewhat altered voice of Elmer Fudd...I “wall” what you done did here and I lubbed ever E word!  u rock my dear  :)

:D

Thank you, my friend!

I reminisce about poetry        
old cities and moonlight –      

as do i

stay close, keep the faith –        
lest a border be built between Us;  
were not our ancestors strangers  
seeking peace in foreign places  

yet we are aren't we? this was magnificent! Johnny Blaze's comment said all i wanted so i will just repeat it

Viva la Resistance! There is no wall high enough to keep out Truth