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Image for the poem Oh Johnny!

Oh Johnny!

 

His name - Johnny Vegas
Comedian, he tells everyone
Funny man falls
Cant get up
Or get it up
Cant even see his dick
Under his blubber apron
He hasn't seen his cock
Since 1981 or his feet

This callous fat slob
Has ideas above his station
What he writes are Jokes
Mainly ones without a laugh
Arrogantly he takes to the stage
Spouting garbage like vomit
Like unstoppable verbal diarrhea,
The crowd are so unimpressed
He couldn't inspire a pepperoni pizza

He is a waste of skin and an oxygen thief
With no redeeming features at all
He has no hope of salvation
As their is nothing worth saving
This pile of redundant blubber
All spit and nonsense
And oh the smell of him
A heady mixture of stale French Fries,
B.O, vomit, urine, spunk and shite

This wannabe Redneck, his dearest wish
Is actually already encapsulated in him
Being so he is a passionate country music fan
Patsy Cline, Tammy Wynette and Dolly Parton
He dances to their boring droning
Nekked in front of his full length mirror
Managing to find his flaccid member
He takes his maggot size dick, stretches it
In a vain attempt to make it look bigger
He cums to their chicken like cluckin

He bows down to them, worshiping
Them from afar over the either
I would assume that those ladies
Would have the good sense
To have no social intercourse with him
To do so you they would need to roll him
In talcum powder and search for the wet spot
He is a disgusting and ugly little man
I worship the ground
That's coming to him
May he rest in peace
Soon!
 
(Stopped Fence sitting)
Written by David_Macleod (14397816)
Published
Author's Note
Inspired by Johnny Vegas, an unfunny comedian of sorts, professional drunkard probably has been shot in the head when he was younger.

Copyright © 2018 David Macleod All Rights Reserved. No part of this Poem may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of David Macleod. dtmacleod@easy.com
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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