deepundergroundpoetry.com
displaced (laid bare)
I seldom walk the streets in the rain anymore.
Now I
Stand in front of a window -
The glass keeping me from the pelting rain and
Reflecting me, reflecting tears as if I
And the weather are the same.
(I blink and blink and the
View changes -
Between smoke streets and the present)
You see, I
Read the last poems I wrote about you -
And I am struck by the rhymes
So familiar, and yet I
Barely recognize.
There is beauty there, you see.
Of course, you were one of the first to see -
My lack of moonbeams -
Your words giving me starry-eyes that
Now I
Wonder
Whether the beauty,
That magic,
Was mine -
Or yours.
How many words were said
Between you and I?
This, a futile attempt at exorcism -
So that perhaps I may write
Again
Even with the shadows you left me with,
These memories of smoke that can suffocate.
Though my flesh and blood remain
As they are
When we met,
Untouched -
Catching breaths,
My soul -
Was so thoroughly taken
By you -
Familiar with the
Melancholy of it all,
And the art,
The music -
Of you.
Years from now, if they
Find these poems -
If they cut my heart open -
I'm quite certain that they'd
Find words like shrapnel from your poems
So deeply -
Embedded in me.
If they prick my finger, looked closely
They'd see the traces
Of your blue ink
In my blood.
And in my faraway eyes, they'd see
Visions of nighthawks and late night coffee
Or your bourbon or your whiskey,
And tears and little deaths -
At street corners or haunted hotels -
Under stars and moon -
That we -
That we -
Walked these streets of smoke and mist -
Always, always,
Begin as
Strangers.
In this old romances.
Whispers -
Some speculate -
Though I long ago accepted the list.
It is impossible to ever be
The only -
And I did not think that the bitter taste and sting -
Even the rain
Will not be able to wash away.
But you penned me away, you see -
She was no longer me, I thought,
Heard you call another name -
So I did not need to come back -
I did not read at all.
Until now.
Before this, I tried to call you.
Before my name went up in neon, I asked for yours.
Nobody answered.
And maybe if I were braver,
If 21 days earlier, despite your last letter -
I would have caught you.
Though goodbye was always to come,
Maybe not this way.
These last words,
Like gunshot to my guts -
Stealing my breath and
Stilling my heart
With the thought that
Perhaps -
I was still in your thoughts.
And now streetcars fly past, splashing puddles.
And my tears never did stop their downpour.
And a song plays from another room -
Another life.
I try to learn tongues not my own,
And this foreign language, I have made my home -
But have I -
I never have -
Told you what you meant to me -
As I am -
In the sunlight, from these islands -
As I am -
Ever -
In this ink, in this paper
In this frozen piece of time -
With all that is left,
Ashes and silhouettes -
Blue -
If the last,
Let me sing,
Ever,
Ever,
Your Jeanne.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
"At natapos ang himas ng sandali
And the touch of the moment has ended
Di kukubli aking tinig
I will not hide my voice
Nang lumipas na't di man lang nasabi
For it to pass without having said
Salamat, hanggang sa muli
Thank you, till we meet again.
...
Patawad muli,
Forgive me again,
Di na muli.
Never again.
Binawi ang buhay mo nang walang sabi
Your life was taken without notice
Binubulong ko sa sarili
I whisper to myself
Mahal kita hanggang sa huli
I love you until the end
Mahal ko, hanggang sa huli…
My love, till we meet again..."
- 'Di Na Muli by Janine Teñoso
Published 13th Jan 2019
Author's Note
Gif art of Bogie and Bacall made by Federica Caglioti: https://www.behance.net/gallery/60520155/GIF-ART-PROJECT
This will not be what it is without this song:
'Di Na Muli by Janine Teñoso: https://youtu.be/gQPCAl92q5Y
This will not be what it is without this song:
'Di Na Muli by Janine Teñoso: https://youtu.be/gQPCAl92q5Y
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 9
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comments 7
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
14th Jan 2019 6:47pm
Man, I missed you.
What a terrific writer you are.
Oh my gosh, my heart hurts after reading that.
Beautifully sad, Positively.
Glad you're back.
Matthew.
What a terrific writer you are.
Oh my gosh, my heart hurts after reading that.
Beautifully sad, Positively.
Glad you're back.
Matthew.
15th Jan 2019 3:49pm
Thank you so much, Matthew.
Maybe hurting is sometimes really necessary for acceptance and moving on. Raw honesty, too, I found out. It's not always pretty...
Thanks for the support!
- tpd
Maybe hurting is sometimes really necessary for acceptance and moving on. Raw honesty, too, I found out. It's not always pretty...
Thanks for the support!
- tpd
15th Jan 2019 4:09pm
WOW...umm...ok let me breathe and catch my breath. And you need to know I had to do those things as I eyes ran across the screen reading this. Goodness, this was HEARTBREAKING!!! As poets we write and to go back and read poetry from another lifetime? I will admit some I simply cannot and will not revisit because of the words shared. The muse created in that union! *geesh*
You see, I
Read the last poems I wrote about you -
And I am struck by the rhymes
So familiar, and yet I
Barely recognize.
There is beauty there, you see.
Of course, you were one of the first to see -
My lack of moonbeams -
Your words giving me starry-eyes that
Now I
Wonder
Whether the beauty,
That magic,
Was mine -
Or yours.
How many words were said
Between you and I?
This, a futile attempt at exorcism -
So that perhaps I may write
Again
Even with the shadows you left me with,
These memories of smoke that can suffocate.
Amazing
You see, I
Read the last poems I wrote about you -
And I am struck by the rhymes
So familiar, and yet I
Barely recognize.
There is beauty there, you see.
Of course, you were one of the first to see -
My lack of moonbeams -
Your words giving me starry-eyes that
Now I
Wonder
Whether the beauty,
That magic,
Was mine -
Or yours.
How many words were said
Between you and I?
This, a futile attempt at exorcism -
So that perhaps I may write
Again
Even with the shadows you left me with,
These memories of smoke that can suffocate.
Amazing
15th Jan 2019 4:22pm
Thank you, jenjames.
I must admit this was a painful write, I don't know how it'll be taken...but somehow I really felt it needed to be written. Truth. Sometimes we find magic in our youth and realize that beautiful things doesn't always end well. And here it is: displaced. Where to go from here?
Thanks again for your feedback, and love and light to you,
- tpd
I must admit this was a painful write, I don't know how it'll be taken...but somehow I really felt it needed to be written. Truth. Sometimes we find magic in our youth and realize that beautiful things doesn't always end well. And here it is: displaced. Where to go from here?
Thanks again for your feedback, and love and light to you,
- tpd
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Nov 2023 11:45pm
22nd Mar 2019 3:04am
<< post removed >>
16th Jan 2019 9:44am
Woah wowww what an amazingly creative poem musing . I ESP admired the shrapnel stanza as your love sad poignancy flows so eloquently that it ought to make the past worthwhile since it makes u bleed in extraordinary inking. Kudos to this personal epic that many can relate to but not everyone can express so poetically.
Plz do review/comment my newest poem too, A cheery one hope u can like it still.
Plz do review/comment my newest poem too, A cheery one hope u can like it still.
29th Jan 2019 2:26pm
Touching... tpd. So raw, emotional, and beautifully written.
Nicely done...!
Nicely done...!
