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It starts out slow

They start out slow,I hate being alone.
I’ll lay in bed awake at night,
Counting reasons not to die.

I’ll be happy, and I think I’m over it.
And then it all comes back to me,
The pain, The thoughts of suicide.

I want it to be over with.
They say depression is the hardest battle,
Because it’s not on the outside, It’s within.

I don’t wanna feel this way anymore,
I want to be happy, I want more.
I don’t want to be dead, do I?

I don’t know anymore, I’m struggling.
My arms are thinner, I skip dinner.
I fear it’s happening again.

The anorexia, the thoughts of death.
They start out slow, and then all too fast.
I try to keep up, but it feels like an attack.

I don’t want to end up this way,
I chose life.
But for some reason,
I don’t want to fight anymore.
Written by Fallen_Angel_194 (Angel.)
Published
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