Might have been

You are so awesome with might,  
fearsome in the fact of what you've seen,    
until you are left with what might have beens,    
clean in your appraisal of being correct to leave me behind,    
correct to think you could destroy my mind.    
You didn't need a poet, or a man that for fucking all things knows it,    
but who without you is sad,  
and who's genius is mad,    
or a first date in Spain to see Animal Collective and Brian Wilson,    
or guide you on the first pill you ever had. (of so many things)    
Nah, 8 years younger than me, you want a man that won't show you life but be a good provider, not an artisan, but an art buyer, not a rouge that gave you flight, not a man that would fight for you and your right to do as you chose; as I always fucking backed you.    
Nah, 8 years younger than me you want someone you will gamble away the sanctuary of life, and settle for second best, see essence become worthless and he'll give the verses of the fact life don't happen twice.  So you will settle and be a wife.  And love won't remain in 5 years, as you will think, is the decision I made right!?    
     
And who knows.  I believed in us, changed so I was good, became the man I could, with love, and all implausibility to better others as I should, to truly work out the meaning of us, to go through the pain of loss, to work through what we could've become, grow with strength in times I grieved alone our loss, walked the bridge at night, dying to fly home, relapsed and let them fucking have an unfair fight and go for my soul and rip it out, and work with scars and still read Bertrand Russell, to see my strength and use it with all I have, whole heartedly for their struggle, to help, develop and change, to control my feeling of rage for this world, to always seek the advice of the stranger, things, to never look back at the engagement ring made for you I designed, you kept as it was just gold, to you, or some thing we saw different and in that moment, damn it- i should have knew, but a fool won't be told.  I had been bad to you, well you had used.  You used my all.    
   
In fact I took all of your advice.  I saw my wrongs in time and I didn't look back, I saw a way to live and move on, I saw in the mirror the man I promised neve to become, I thought of Andromeda and how you liked the name our daughter had to be, 'The ruler of men', you saw my final fantasy.  I remember the beaches, and Bjork and Coldplay, I remember you pulling my fingers in, as our hands were joined too weak, I remember you running, as I arrived to Qatar, I remember it was probably not illegal, as you jumped in my arms, I remember after a week, that i got your initials, I remember i said you are so beautiful and you're so fucking special, I mourned for all this, 3 years day and night.
 
So to know if you made the right choice Shereena, you'll have to ask my wife.