deepundergroundpoetry.com
comparable to your dimple twinkle pt 1.
like rain that falls
and saves
a bed of wilting flowers,
the way a pebble
sinks and makes
the cup flow over,
or the wick that
crowns a candle
for hours at a time,
the energy with which
spacemen
triumph over gravity,
and the sun peeking
over the earth
at the brink of dawn,
magic of a shooting star,
how a drum is more than wood
and the sea is more than water.
and saves
a bed of wilting flowers,
the way a pebble
sinks and makes
the cup flow over,
or the wick that
crowns a candle
for hours at a time,
the energy with which
spacemen
triumph over gravity,
and the sun peeking
over the earth
at the brink of dawn,
magic of a shooting star,
how a drum is more than wood
and the sea is more than water.
Published 2nd Jan 2019
| Edited 3rd Feb 2019
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The author encourages honest critique.
2nd Jan 2019 3:19am
How do I love thee, let me count the ways. . .
Very lovely tribute to your love. I liked how you used commas in the final lines of the tercets only, thus to connect them. The only critique I really have is the comma in L1 of the final couplet, which I feel unnecessary.
The title rocks.
Very lovely tribute to your love. I liked how you used commas in the final lines of the tercets only, thus to connect them. The only critique I really have is the comma in L1 of the final couplet, which I feel unnecessary.
The title rocks.
