deepundergroundpoetry.com

I Searched for God

I had to drown myself with myself
in order to find my God.
I had to step out of my own shell
And let myself sink in my own thoughts
in order to find my God.
I had to look within
in order to manifest all the things
that are outside of myself
And all this I had to do
in order to find my God.

I had to go all around the world
Looking at people
Looking at their souls
And Looking deep within their being

I had to empathise with with their hurts and knowing their blessings
I had to empathise wih their dreams
I had to empathise with their life stories
Because the more I got to know others
Was the more I realised that
I know so little about myself

So I took a journey with
That didn't need me to go very far
Because All I had to do was be still
I had to be quiet
Find my peace and just be still
I had to be still
And Look at my own pain
My own troubles,
my own burdens
My own shortfalls
and my own shortcomings

And then i had to realise that
they are as much a part of me
as I claim that they are seperate from me
I had to look myself in the eye
And say to myself
'I forgive you'

I had to learn to forgive myself
For what I had done to myself
And what could do to myself in the future
But once I learned that one of the greatest forgivenesses one gave give
is the one you give to yourself
That is when I found that light
That the light I kept looking for
was actually me
That I am the dream that I need
That I am what I need my world to be

Not in a self centred manner
But this comes from the realization
That the greatest hell is
the seperation of yourself from yourself
The seperation from your dreams
The Seperation from the person you were meant to be
The seperation from taking every breath
In efforts of getting closer to your destiny

And once I realized this a part of me found happiness
And the rest of me became content
Because now I am content
Now I walk into the space that used to cause me pain and I smile
I smile because I know the lesson has been learnt
That this space is no longer a space of pain
But it is now a space of my glory
It is now a space in which every step that I take leads to the glory of my God
Because I spent my whole life in search of God
Only to find he is not that far away
Written by Simon_III_Msibi (Mandla Msibi)
Published
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