the 12 Miseries of Christmas   (12)

What Christmas Means

The holiday season approaches
Like a freight train speeding
Driverless not even a brakeman
On an emotional collision course
A painful train wreck is predicted
Tearful of the rails morbid thoughts
A lonesome whistle sadly audible
Signifies the haunting: trained ghosts
Spectres of life regretful, all aboard
The puffing and chuffing a heart beat
Its quickening felt with fear and panic
Panic of a hearts critical derailment
Destined not to reach the end of the line
Ignoring all signals and red light warnings

A heart fatally wounded
Deliberately with malice
Bleached, rinse, repeat
The ghost of Christmas present
Redundant nothing to deliver
Nobody to pull my cracker
Kissless under the mistletoe
A microwave xmas meal for one
is as festive as its going to get
apart from the bottle opening
And the alcohol fuelled mayhem
The ghost of Christmas future
Sadly gets fired apprentice like
Christmas forecasting difficult
No guaranteed next Christmas
Its fate is in the firmly hands
Of the present's survivability
Memories of the past
Coping with the present
Will be the decider

But It's the ghosts of Christmases past
That fills and haunts this carriage
Tormented flashbacks torment
Memories tearfully remembered
Dreams like nightmares dreamt
Feelings deeply felt
Thoughts of thoughtless thoughts
Alone in my loneliness
Darker than darkness
Darker than utter darkness
Love has slammed the door
Sons have nailed down the windows
Daughters draw; yes, it's curtains
Friends lock me inside out
Infidelity plagues my existence
Plans made in smoke filled rooms
Treachery is a badge I have earned
Rejection is all I have learned

A bottle of pills in front of me
A rope and a shotgun shell
The cold, cold hug of a vodka
There's no ice necessary
An anniversary on approach
Something wicked this way comes
Like many in my diary
If I had the courage
I'd stop writing
I'd close the book
Close it for the last time
Becoming only a fading memory
That no guilt will prolong

You and I my friend are like
Flaming Viking ships
That pass in the fog of dark night
But sadly destined for
Different destinations
Merry Christmas