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deepundergroundpoetry.com
Traumama
I hate reading shitty depression poems.
I hold no pity to the bullshit they can't get a hold of.
Pityful and empty words.
Full of shit and just absurd.
I feel blank and alive.
Shutting down from anxiety,
Simultaneously thrived.
As if nothing is inside, (of me)
My thoughts are deprived.
So savory.
So angery.
Full of emotion.
Nothing at all.
Fire in eyes.
Routinely appalled.
Life in demotion.
Seething to crawl.
Liar of lies.
Jumping to fall.
We don't deserve this.
.....
This feeling of worthless.
We didn't earn this.
We weren't birthed this.
I can't stand this,
So I'll drop to my knees.
I didn't plan this,
I have no release.
I can't grasp this,
This fucking disease.
I have to hand it,
It finds me with ease.
They say sick and tired of sick and tired,
A bullet vaccine.
Fuck that, I'm not a coward,
But i can't help my mind creeps.
Sometimes i wish that i would just always sleep.
But i can't see the Moon if i don't wake.
It's tough to think about how much i can take.
I'll give in, just go about my day.
---
[And here she is.
She knows.
Purposely occupying my mind to help.
She feels what i feel.
Lives through the same.
Absorbs, and releases my pain.
Thank you, baby.]
I hold no pity to the bullshit they can't get a hold of.
Pityful and empty words.
Full of shit and just absurd.
I feel blank and alive.
Shutting down from anxiety,
Simultaneously thrived.
As if nothing is inside, (of me)
My thoughts are deprived.
So savory.
So angery.
Full of emotion.
Nothing at all.
Fire in eyes.
Routinely appalled.
Life in demotion.
Seething to crawl.
Liar of lies.
Jumping to fall.
We don't deserve this.
.....
This feeling of worthless.
We didn't earn this.
We weren't birthed this.
I can't stand this,
So I'll drop to my knees.
I didn't plan this,
I have no release.
I can't grasp this,
This fucking disease.
I have to hand it,
It finds me with ease.
They say sick and tired of sick and tired,
A bullet vaccine.
Fuck that, I'm not a coward,
But i can't help my mind creeps.
Sometimes i wish that i would just always sleep.
But i can't see the Moon if i don't wake.
It's tough to think about how much i can take.
I'll give in, just go about my day.
---
[And here she is.
She knows.
Purposely occupying my mind to help.
She feels what i feel.
Lives through the same.
Absorbs, and releases my pain.
Thank you, baby.]
Published 26th Dec 2018
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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10th Jul 2019 1:34pm
“It’s thought to think about how much I can take”
This jumps out at me, screaming for me to pay closer attention. Sometimes when I feel I’ve reached the end of my rope, it overwhelms me to know I really haven’t. Our capacity for pain is enormous, and knowing you haven’t plumbed the depths of it yet, while feeling so close to the edge already is summed up nicely with this line.
This piece is raw and the emotions are gritty, both depressed and determined; authenticity rings loudly from the very first line.
This jumps out at me, screaming for me to pay closer attention. Sometimes when I feel I’ve reached the end of my rope, it overwhelms me to know I really haven’t. Our capacity for pain is enormous, and knowing you haven’t plumbed the depths of it yet, while feeling so close to the edge already is summed up nicely with this line.
This piece is raw and the emotions are gritty, both depressed and determined; authenticity rings loudly from the very first line.
10th Jul 2019 5:25pm
It came one night of the feeling of being so down to the bottom of an endless pit, but realizing i have the most beautiful woman right in front of me who more than understands. There is no greater help in those moments.
