deepundergroundpoetry.com
Kaleidoscope
Confusion of it all within
Those facets, a kaleidoscope
The rattle of glass as it turns
Geometry within askew
The shapes coalesce into a form
Face now aligned, a wonderment
Several colors subtly defined
Eyes still radiant with every turn
But I at last remove this toy
And see her standing in the light
There is perfection to her face
A smile reflecting through the night.
Those facets, a kaleidoscope
The rattle of glass as it turns
Geometry within askew
The shapes coalesce into a form
Face now aligned, a wonderment
Several colors subtly defined
Eyes still radiant with every turn
But I at last remove this toy
And see her standing in the light
There is perfection to her face
A smile reflecting through the night.
Published 8th Dec 2018
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likes 12
reading list entries 5
comments 18
reads 792
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
8th Dec 2018 11:21pm
This read as a lovely 'admiration' poem - gently done and rolling along nicely - with soft and appropriate imagery (no pun intended). I really liked it.
{ Minor quibble re honest feedback: my only bug-bear is the word 'shards' - a purely personal thing due to it's over-use in poetry - how about "the shapes are tumbling to a form" ? }
{ Minor quibble re honest feedback: my only bug-bear is the word 'shards' - a purely personal thing due to it's over-use in poetry - how about "the shapes are tumbling to a form" ? }
8th Dec 2018 11:38pm
Thank you for the kind feedback and RL entry, Josh. Your point's well taken. I will substitute "shards" with "shapes." It constitutes an improvement. Thanks again!
Anonymous
8th Dec 2018 11:56pm
My dear friend you are well due the respect of the great poets of love. This is a chant. Excellent. J
Thank you for your kind comment and RL entry, J. You place me in stellar company. I'm glad you found me a place among them. I blush to think so.
Bravo Sir Crow! This demonstrates such classic romanticism. Beautifully composed.
9th Dec 2018 2:36am
Thank you, Gahdess. I truly appreciate your kind comment and RL entry. Your opinion means the world to me.
Anonymous
9th Dec 2018 2:16am
Crow.. brilliant poem my man. love your flow.. and voices that drive the truth home..
Dave
Dave
Thank you Dave. I can almost hear those voices now. Some are singing, glad to say. Thanks again!
Anonymous
9th Dec 2018 3:06am
Hey Crow.......luv this well crafted ink.......last stanza is radiantly beautiful......purple luv & hugs xo :)
10th Dec 2018 1:26am
9th Dec 2018 5:03am
Glad it brought a smile, Rjm. I must be doing something right. And thank you for the RL inclusion!
9th Dec 2018 3:07pm
10th Dec 2018 1:28am
9th Dec 2018 3:42pm
Thank you Brenda. You always make me smile. And thanks for putting me on your RL!
17th Dec 2018 7:50pm
17th Dec 2018 8:15pm
