Unhealed Wounds

Unhealed Wounds
That I caused you  
With lying and cheating and not giving a fuck  
Not giving you the closure that you need  
In order for you to see  
That you is not the problem  
IT IS ME! IT IS ME!  
With every hope you had in you  
I took that shit away  
Leaving you all broken with sadness in your face  
So hurt and so confuse  
With many years of open wounds  
Everything be all good next thing I fuck up  
You catch me into action  
And I just dont give a fuck  
I will argue you down and justify everything    
Cause I can't take the heat I'm in  
I don't wanna be the blame  
So fingers get to pointing  
And pointing get to cursing  
This blood bath that we in our bubbles we steady bursting  
I did this, But you did this and that!  
I'm not trying to listen,defense mood I still attack!  
You can't have my phone  
That's invading my privacy  
CAUSE I know at this point if he see what i see  
He gone call me out on all my lies and secrecy  
So I stand and hold my ground  
Not caring what's at risk  
The look that's in his eyes he sick of all my shit  
So he yells out loud  
STUPID BITCH! STUPID BITCH!  
So I'm not worthy of the truth am I worthy of your time  
You the one that fuck up hoe, yes you everytime  
He so angery and so mad  
I don't know what to say  
Just watching him as he hurt    
Knowing the mess I cause him he's the one who has to pay  
I get to thinking to myself  
Got damn I can't do right  
Why tonight! Why tonight!  
So I sit there and listen as I get called every name  
Do you want this family  
I'm demanding answers now  
Do you even love me  
His voice getting loud as it echoed throughout the house  
The scars that I gave him has never healed    
I keep stabbing it back open    
The little stiches that was sealed  
Deep down I do love him  
I just feel i deserve better  
There's no kisses,no hugs,no affection, no love  
I feel alone in this relationship  
And I tell him everytime  
I didn't mean to hurt him during the process of me crying  
Begging him for attention    
That bond that I want  
I feel he ain't trying to give it to me  
So ima seek it to whoever I want  
Not thinking of the consequences that they might Cause me  
All I ever given him was disloyal and dishonestly  
I'm ashamed of myself  
For being a repeated pattern  
His life is so important to me    
His heart does matter  
I know Sorry doesn't fix it  
It's gone take more than that  
I have to fight with everything I got if i want my man back  
YOUR UNHEALED WOUNDS DESERVES JUST THAT  
Cause you was always there for me  
No lie and thats a fact