deepundergroundpoetry.com
what i seek
i will only be
the things i seek
in what i
see
in what
is
me
in the
things
i long
to
be
the things i seek
in what i
see
in what
is
me
in the
things
i long
to
be
Published 8th Dec 2018
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 0
comments 6
reads 480
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Excellent, Marielle. What you desire exists - what you think you shall become.
To honor your request for honest critique, I would offer the following:
i will only be
the things i seek;
what i
see
in what
is
me:
the
things
i long
to
be
I've cut out just a tad of the repetition, which seemed a bit monotonous, and added a tad of punctuation.
Again, well done train of thought.
To honor your request for honest critique, I would offer the following:
i will only be
the things i seek;
what i
see
in what
is
me:
the
things
i long
to
be
I've cut out just a tad of the repetition, which seemed a bit monotonous, and added a tad of punctuation.
Again, well done train of thought.
10th Dec 2018 1:03am
9th Dec 2018 1:31pm
So true. I feel the same way about my life.
Glad to read you poem after a period of time dear Marielle.
love
Jasmine
Glad to read you poem after a period of time dear Marielle.
love
Jasmine
10th Dec 2018 1:03am
thank you love, going through stuff, so that's when i start writing, so a good and bad thing i guess . <3
27th Jan 2019 3:41pm
1st Aug 2019 1:45am
