deepundergroundpoetry.com
Stars
( after Robert Frost )
I saw them once, at first light
glistening upon water --
drifting aimlessly, shooting ducks
ignorant of slaughter --
Their light-force dwindling rapidly;
I wanted to warn them, Run! --
Sunrise will assimilate you!
But, my heart held back words
They appeared content, trusting fate;
I could do no more than watch --
suddenly realizing Death
is full payment for Life
What was it I wished for
( while ignorant of sorrow )
as they plummeted earthward;
Wisdom, wasn't it . . .
~
I saw them once, at first light
glistening upon water --
drifting aimlessly, shooting ducks
ignorant of slaughter --
Their light-force dwindling rapidly;
I wanted to warn them, Run! --
Sunrise will assimilate you!
But, my heart held back words
They appeared content, trusting fate;
I could do no more than watch --
suddenly realizing Death
is full payment for Life
What was it I wished for
( while ignorant of sorrow )
as they plummeted earthward;
Wisdom, wasn't it . . .
~
Published 29th Nov 2018
| Edited 8th Jan 2020
Author's Note
Non-entry for the Road Less Traveled Comp by JohnnyBlaze:
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/10474/
Inspiration: https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/stars-2/
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/10474/
Inspiration: https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/stars-2/
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 9
reading list entries 1
comments 18
reads 933
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
29th Nov 2018 8:43pm
You are truly quite the poetess. Leaving jet streams in the sky..
29th Nov 2018 9:14pm
Anonymous
29th Nov 2018 8:56pm
I am just blown away. That opening stanza is amazing imagry brought to life. Where Frost utilized snow in his poem, you went beyond with bringing those stars to life reflected on water's surface. As animal like creatures floating, it created an entirely new dimension. 📝❤
BRAVO, Sweetness! 💜💑💋
BRAVO, Sweetness! 💜💑💋
29th Nov 2018 9:15pm
30th Nov 2018 00:09am
"They appeared content, trusting fate;
I could do no more than watch --
suddenly realizing Death
is full payment for Life" wow amazing line i loved this!👏👏
I could do no more than watch --
suddenly realizing Death
is full payment for Life" wow amazing line i loved this!👏👏
30th Nov 2018 00:14am
Anonymous
30th Nov 2018 3:24am
Hey Ahavati.......I really enjoyed this.......luv how you so gracefully wrote the thoughts of your soul.......the end is absolutely heart tugging.......outstanding ink as always........purple luv & hugs xo :)
30th Nov 2018 1:23pm
30th Nov 2018 2:36pm
When I search these halls for beautiful poetry, this is what I hope to find.
30th Nov 2018 11:27pm
Anonymous
- Edited 9th Jun 2019 1:47pm
30th Nov 2018 2:54pm
<< post removed >>
30th Nov 2018 11:27pm
2nd Dec 2018 5:15pm
2nd Dec 2018 6:40pm
3rd Dec 2018 3:13am
I'm not going to comment as you are writing verse with Robert Frost; hence way out of my league. I just wanted say I enjoyed your verse.
3rd Dec 2018 3:19am
Thank you, Leo.
I appreciate that; however, doubt very much that Frost would consider himself out of your league.
I appreciate that; however, doubt very much that Frost would consider himself out of your league.
Anonymous
- Edited 4th Dec 2023 7:45pm
5th Dec 2018 1:46pm
<< post removed >>
5th Dec 2018 2:14pm
